My Love is a Star (BTS Suga Fanfiction)

28. Anger

What is Anger?

"Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process.  The truth is that anger has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends, the doctors, your family, yourself but also to God.

Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger.
Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss.

At first, grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything. Then you get angry at someone maybe a person who isn't around, maybe a person who is different now. Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger towards them.

The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them. It is something to hold onto, and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than nothing.

The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love." (David Kessler)
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JHOPE's POV

And yes, the time we have been waiting for has finally come.

Suga has exploded.

We were taping one of the episodes for Run BTS. V was constantly forgetting his lines so we had to do take after take. Everyone was having fun and didn't really mind at all or so we thought.

"Ya! You've been reading the script since yesterday. Weren't you supposed to be good at this? You've even done a drama series for God's sake. So help me understand why can't you memorize your God damn lines?!"

Everyone fell silent including the production team. V was clenching the script in his hands. Hurt displayed across his face but he still managed to say, "I apologize for giving all of you a hard time. I'd work even harder."

"You better! I wanna go home." Suga added without any remorse.

"Do you need help with your lines?" Jimin offered with so much concern.

"No, I got it." V was never humiliated like this before so he was taking it very seriously. He was not the one who gets things immediately but people always understood. No one has shoved it to his face just like Suga did. 

"Okay. Ready in 3.." the director called out.

Jimin gave him a tap at the back.

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Jimin was filming a video for their beloved Army. Among the seven of them, he was the most active in social media. He loves interacting with their fans. He even enjoys chatting with them in the fan cafe. He loves showing the Army bits and pieces of their day-to-day lives.

This time, he was showing off the scenes behind their busy dressing room. The never-before-seen faces of the other members sleeping with their mouths open got captured in the video he was filming. Suga was the only one awake as he was busy composing a beat for a song he was making. Jimin decided to come up to him and ask for a word for their beloved fandom.

"Suga hyung, can I have a bit of your time to.."

"Go away." He said without even looking at him.

"Just for a few words.."

"One more word from you and I'll smash that camera on your face."

Jimin immediately retreated and returned to his seat.

"You see Army. That's how savage that hyung is. Let's curse them together okay?" Jimin giggled to himself. He was already used to Suga's mood swings but he admits these past few days, he was excessively cranky and his mouth was burning with more bitter words than usual.

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JungKook just got out of the shower and stumbled into a pile of disgustingly dirty cotton balls on their living room table.

"Aish. Hyung! Are these yours?" He asked JHope who was towel drying his hair.

"Nooo. You know who.."

Jungkook got fed up with always cleaning after Suga's cotton balls. Every day he stumbles on the same thing. They're not just dirty, they're muddy in color.

"What am I? Isn't he old enough to know what to do? It's not like we have a housekeeper here to look after our trash. How hard is it to throw these away? The trash can is just right at the corner. Seriously!"

He looked for Suga who was already laying on his bed fiddling with his phone.

"Hyung! How many times do I have to throw your cotton balls away? I've reminded you hundreds of times! You're not that old to always forget where the trash can is!"

Suga stormed across the room and headed towards the living room. He scooped the cotton balls off the table and threw them at JungKook.

"There. Happy?!" His face looked like he's ready to throw a punch.

"How dare you complain about those fucking cotton balls! Did you even hear me once complaining about how much food you could push into that dirty little mouth of yours? Would you like me to let you eat the credit statement I got yesterday which was obviously filled with what you ate and bought for yourself??! You didn't even thank me you ungrateful little dick and now you speak to me like that. Who the fuck do you think you are huh?" He held Jungkook by the neck and pushed him to the wall.

"Hey. Hey. Easy hyung." Jhope tried to loosen Suga's grip but he wasn't letting go.

Jungkook on the other hand was not showing any fear at all. He didn't look threatened even just a bit. He was staring into his senior's eyes with the same burning gaze he was giving him. His hands were clenched, ready to fly a punch anytime needed.

"Suga! Let go of him this instant!" Jin shouted across the room.

"Let him go." Jin held his wrist, his voice in full command.

Suga gave JungKook one last look and took his hand off his neck.
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Suga put the rest of them through hell for days. He was basically venting out on each of them. The older ones pitied the maknaes for absorbing most of his burst-outs.

They knew each one of them was already holding grudges against Suga for all the words and actions he had tormented them with, especially JungKook. Never will he forget how he got pinned to a wall just because of a pile of dirty cotton balls. He had already killed him over and over in his head.

To be continued...