Family. Loyalty. Trust. Friendship. A twisted fate with the name of love on the line.
But is it still all for the name of love even when things get a little darker?
-not your typical Academy story.
•COMPLETED•
(This story is written in Tagalog and E...
If I say 'I'm fine' when people ask me how am I feeling, I know they would immediately think I lied. So I will say nothing. I don't even trust my words that much anymore. I am aware that I've changed. My heart was beating, my blood was flowing normally, my senses were the same, and I am still human. Me.
But I feel no emotions. Absolutely nothing. I am 'me' yet at the same time I am a void, deprived of any emotions that wasn't quite like 'me'. It's impossible for some humans to say they have no emotions, that they feel nothing, because that's just simply impossible.
Humans can't have 'no' emotions at all. Ignorance, that may the answer why some people say they are emotionless. Because they are ignoring the fact that they still have warmth in their hearts, that they only prevent themselves from feeling anything.
But what does that make me?
I still feel anything around me. I still feel people's anxiety, curiousity, anger...and so much more. But I have learned to distinguish that they are not mine. I absorb their energies but I don't feel what they feel, I only 'know' what they feel. Soon, time will pass where I will forget how emotions feel like.
But I have no regrets. No fears. Just nothing. I am lost in a sea of copious emotions but I am not one of them. I do not have one of those. I am different. I am a rose with so much thorns, one that draws people in, one that people may want to hold on to, but they simply can't because they'll bleed until there is no blood left.
I have no particular colour that some people may want to fill themselves, that they may want to paint themselves, but they can't. Because they will lose their colours instead. So it's better to just watch and stay away from someone like me. That would be the best, wouldn't it?
I wasn't floating. I could still somehow feel the solid texture behind my back, solid yet smooth and soft. It was a similar awareness like I was laying on the water's surface except that I don't actually drown. Everything around me seems to be moving in patterned motions, and I don't know how long have I been here but I knew it was long enough for me to notice the sceneries don't change.
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Napapaligidan ako ng dilim, pero hindi gaano kadilim dahil narin sa liwanag na lumalabas mula sa isang linya na humahati sa taas. They appear to be night skies with stars pero alam kong hindi. It's like everything around me is a barrier, a fragile glass.
Napagdesisyunan kong umupo. Ramdam ko na parang madali ngang mabasag ang sahig. It's like I'm on a thin layer of ice. Mula dito ay nakikita ko ang sarili kong repleksiyon na para bang malinaw na tubig ang tinititigan ko. I have a short black hair that reached up to my shoulder, and my eyes...since when did they look so dead?
From now on, people will see my eyes as something like a waveless ocean, unmoving, silent, calm, but at the same time, it would bring out their greatest fears, hopelessnes, and pain. I was all alone, yet I emotion such as loneliness didn't come by, and I was stuck in an endless loop of feeling nothing all over again.
