But Now We're Stressed Out

Hold still while I throw a chair at you

We're getting close to the end of this book

I think I'm terrified to end this book because I have no rebound book

When I ended DLMBG, I had this book to fall back on

I base a lot of my self worth around how my books do and if I don't have a book that's doing well that I'm currently working on, I fear I'm gonna start beating myself up about it

We're chapters from the end, and not many at that

And none of my other books are doing very good right now

I'm scared

Siiiiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhh

TRIGGER WARNINGS :

Remus POV
My head hurts.  But that's nothing compared to how much my heart hurts when I have to watch Evan have seizures. 

Evan was twitching and jerking violently.  Seconds later a doctor and two nurses rushed into the room.  Evan's heart monitor was beeping extremely quickly and I didn't like it. 

Usually I don't give a shit about other people's feelings.  But with Evan, Quinn and Damien, I care a lot.  I don't like seeing them in pain.  Usually I like hearing people scream in pain and fear but I don't want it coming for any of my boyfriends.

I didn't even realize how tightly I was holding onto Damien's arm until he had to pull me off.  I didn't bother with an apology, just watching wide eyed at Evan had a seizure. 

Slowly, Evan's screaming reduced to whimpers and then he fell silent.  His body stilled and his heart race seemed to slow down.  The doctor let out a relieved sigh and stepped away. 

He grabbed the clipboard at the end of the and stared writing something on the paper.  He conferred a bit with the nurses who then put something into his IV.

"We're going to have to up the dosage on his epilepsy medication right now,"  The doctor said while turning towards Damien.  "We're lucky we managed to control the seizure.  But it has reached the level where I'd he doesn't wake up, he will die.  And even if he does manage to wake up, seizures this violent could have possibly caused brain damage.  Which could result in severe memory loss, the loss of certain limb function and death."

I hate crying, but this brought tears to my eyes.  I quickly forced them away before anyone could notice. 

With that, the doctor and the nurses left the room again.  Damien let out a long sigh, wiping away the tears slowly sliding down his cheek. 

Quinn let out a chocked sob behind us.  I turned to see him.  He was curled up tightly with a hand clamped over his mouth.  Damien stood up and carried Quinn back over to us. 

"We'll leave you four alone,"  Virgil said, standing up from the couch.

"What?  No, we can't leave-"  Roman started to say but Virgil places a finger to his lips to shut him up. 

"They need time and we don't need to be here for this,"  Virgil told him. 

Roman stood up but walked over to me first.  He pulled me into a tight hug which surprised me.  I hugged back.

"Don't die Re,"  Roman mumbled, using my nickname from our childhood. 

"No promises,"  I couldn't help but laugh.

He laughed a bit too before pulling away.  He silently follows Virgil out of the hospital room.  Once the door shut, I didn't bother to stop the tears.

I know that Quinn and Damien won't judge me.  They were crying too anyways.  We all just held on to each other and cried.  Quinn sitting in my lap while Damien held both of us.