CHAPTER 50

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Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve, and I was at home baking with my mom and my dad was watching a soccer game.
"Put a cup of flour in here," mom tells me and I do. I had flour on my clothes because Hugo came around and I dropped a bunch of it everywhere, after a minute of my mom yelling at me, she laughed with me. "Honey, you're a mess," mom shakes her head and I laugh.
"Yeah, that's the fun part of baking," I nod.
"The fun part is when you're done so I can eat it," dad walks into the kitchen and grabs some of the cookie dough. We are making cookies and muffins, and mom wants to make a cake too. She wants to go give her friends some muffins, and cookies so she's making a shit ton.
"Oh get out of the kitchen!" Mom waves him off and I laugh.
"He's not wrong," I said.
"Of course you say so," mom shakes her head. "All you two do is eat!"
We both gasps.
"Excuse me!" I said.
"Yeah, that's rude," dad adds.
"Whatever," mom says.
"Disrespectful," me and dad look at each other.
There was a knock on the door and I look around.
"Were we expecting someone!?" I ask.
"No," mom says.
"I can get it," I said and leave the kitchen. I walk over to the front door and open it to see Alex standing there. My smile drops when I see him and he looks down at me and he looked nervous and he was holding something. He lived pretty close to us, which I hated at the moment.
"Hey," he mumbles.
"Um, hi," I said. "What're you doing here!?"
"My mom wanted me to give you guys this," he hands me and basket.
"Why?" I ask.
"You know, our families were close, she still likes you guys," he said. "She said merry Christmas."
"Okay," I take it. "Merry Christmas to the family from us too," I say.
"Are you baking?" He asks and I give him a look.
"Yeah," is all I say. "Is that all?"
"Do you think we have any time to talk?" He asks.
"No," I shake my head. "Why do you want to talk?"
"I just want to talk about everything," he sighs. "Maybe later?"
"Maybe," I nod.
"Okay, thanks," he grins slightly.
"Bye," I mutter and shut the door.
I walk back into the kitchen.
"Who was it!?" Mom asks.
"I'm Alex's family have this to us," I put the basket on the table and mom looks over to me.
"Alex!?"
"He said his mom wanted to give it to us," I nod.
"Why, you guys aren't together," mom says.
"I don't know, his mom still likes us," I shrug.
"Well, maybe I should give her some cookies!?" Mom states.
"Yeah if you want," I nod.
I wonder what he wanted to talk about later on. I didn't want to hear his excuses.

~

I walk downstairs after my shower and into the kitchen to see cookies done and mom was wrapping some up so give to her friends.
"Ooh," I grab one eating it. "Tastes amazing."
"Try a muffin," she points out and I grab one and take a bite.
"Even better!" I said.
"So, I'm gonna go give these to Theresa and Daniel," she tells me and I nod. "Oh right, I got some for Kim," she adds.
"Actually, I'll take those," I said. They were for Alex's mom if he wanted to talk I might as well do it now.
"Really?" Mom gives me a look and I nod.
"Yeah," I said. "Plus they live just a couple houses down," I add and she nods.
"Okay thanks hun, I'm going now," she grabs her bag and keys and leaves out the garage.
I look over and dad was asleep on the couch with soccer playing.
I grab the cookies she packed for them and head to the front door and slip on my shoes.
I walk outside and it was nice out, the sun was still out, but it wasn't hot or cold just right.
I start walking down the sidewalk and I see some kids playing with their scooters and skateboards.

I get to their house and all the houses here looked the same, but this house just made me have a weird gut feeling as I approached the front door. So many memories here with him. I wasn't sad, it was just a feeling. Because I have Isaac now, Alex really didn't matter to me anymore.
I sigh and knock on the door. I step back and the door opens and it was Alex. He looked shocked to see me.
"My mom wanted to give you guys these because of the basket," I pass him the cookies.
"Oh thanks," he nods.
"Also, you said you wanted to talk," I add. "We can do it now."
"Right," he steps inside putting the cookies down somewhere. "Did you want to come in... or walk!?" He asks.
"We can walk," I said and he nods slipping on his shoes.
He comes out and shuts the door. I start walking and he follows.
"So what?" I ask after a minute of silence.
"Um," he says. "I'm sorry," he adds.
"I think you've said that already," I hold back an eye roll. I didn't need closure, or really anything from Alex, I'm just being nice right now. I'm nosy, I wanna know what he wanted to say.
"Yeah I know," he nods fidgeting with his fingers. "I just wanted to clear the air. We're gonna be going to the same school for 4 years and we already live across from each other! And you're dating my roommate," he says. "I just, I really want you to know that I'm sorry, and I hate what I did to you and I was really hoping we could be friends, or at least be civil," he says.
I don't say anything.
"Do you understand that what you did was horrible Alex.." I tell him. "Like I'm completely over it... but when you told me that it hurt! I loved you, and to figure out you did get accepted to the school and ended up going was even worse," I say. "I do think it was a blessing in disguise because I'm doing much better, but still! I hated it!"
"I know," he nods. "And I think about it all the time, and I hate that I hurt you because I've known you for so long, and our relationship was great and you are a great person and I just hate that we can't be friends, or that we have to avoid each other," he says. "And yes I know it's my fault, but I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have made those excuses, I just didn't want to drag you along when I wasn't in it fully."
"It would've been fine if you told me that, and didn't lie!" I said.
"I know," he nods. "I suck, and I know that and I just don't want there to be hard feelings!"
I sigh staring at my feet as we walk down the sidewalk.
  "You don't have to be my friend, or even forgive me at all, I just wanted to tell you this because I felt like a total asshole for it," he said.
  "I'm glad you did, because it was a total asshole move," I nod.
It's not like being civil with him would hurt anyone!? We wouldn't be awkward, I don't have to speak to him, and I was kind of sick of avoiding him when I want to go to Isaac's dorm. Plus, I didn't care anymore, I didn't care so much that I felt like I could forgive him. Because I'm happier now, and maybe this is Isaac's fault for making me nicer because I was a grudge-holding bitch usually.
  "At least know I'm sorry," he says.
  "You've said sorry a thousand times by now, I'm sure I know," I say. "Look... it's fine." I look at him.
  "You're not just saying that to be nice?" He asks.
  "You're talking to me Alex," I said and he laughs. "It's fine, I'm over it and I have Isaac so there's nothing for me to be mad at anymore. But I hope you know we're not gonna be best friends," I said.
  "Yeah, I know," he nods. "Thank you Liv, seriously it means a lot. You're a great person and it's hard to not have you in my life," he says.
  "Yeah I know, you're dumb," I nod and he laughs. "Don't expect me to ask you to hang out, or to do something. We're just civil, I forgive you... doesn't mean I forget," I stop walking and he does too.
  "I know that," he nods. "I've known that for a very long time," he adds. "Thanks though," he tells me.
"Yeah whatever," I shrug.
"Can I hug you?"
"No!" I said and he laughs.
"I figured," he nods.
"Why did you ask then," I laugh.
"I don't know," he shrugs. "So not awkward then?" He asks.
"Awkward is a state of mind," I say.
"Yeah," he agrees. "So I shouldn't expect the cookies to be poisoned?"
"No, my mom made them," I reply. "I helped though!" I add.
"I'll throw them out then," he nods and I laugh rolling my eyes. "Hey, you laughed!"
"Leave me alone. I'm going home," I say.
"See you around then?" He asks.
"Don't know," I shrug walking ahead.
"Bye!" He exclaims.
"Bye," I reply and head back home.

Hmm, me and Alex were civil, who would've thought something like that!? Me actually forgiving someone, and that someone being my ex. Isaac would be so proud that I'm learning the not hold such a grudge! I couldn't wait to tell him.

I walk into the house and as I do my phone rings in my hand and I look down to see incoming FaceTime from Isaac. FaceTime!? We don't FaceTime.
I look ugly on FaceTime! I run a hand through my hair and answer.
"Why are you FaceTiming me?" I ask.
"Hey!" He smiles, he looked as good as ever his hair messy and he was shirtless and laying in bed. "I haven't seen you in so long!" He groans.
"You're seeing me now," I state.
"Yeah, that's why I face timed you!" He nods.
"Well, don't mind me looking like trash," I head upstairs to my room.
When I walk in Hugo was laying on my bed.
"You never look like trash," he tells me.
"That's nice, but not true," I sit down. "Hugo says hi," I turn the camera toward Hugo and Hugo's tail wags. I turn it back to my face. "So what's up!?" I ask.
"Not much," he runs a hand through his hair. "I was just handing out with Brandon," he says. "What's up with you!?"
"I made some cookies and muffins with my mom this morning," I said.
"I want some!" He says.
"I'll send some over," I laugh. "Oh! I have something to tell you!" I say.
"Have you found someone better than me?" He asks.
"Ew no," I say and he laughs. "So Alex obviously lives here," I start. "And we talked today," I say.
"Really!? Fight or talked!?" He asks.
"Talked, he wanted to talk to me," I shrug. "And he apologized actually... like a million times," I pet Hugo. "He told me how much of an asshole he is, and then I took a page out of your book!" I state. "I decided not to hold a grudge and I forgave him, but you know... forgive but never forget," I said. "But I just thought who cares since I'm with you and he's nothing to me anymore."
"Hey! That's good," he says. "Now it doesn't have to be so weird with you two!" He grins. "Are you friends?"
"No!" I shake my head. "No, he's not gonna become my friend that easy," I add and he laughs.
"Well, at least you're not fighting."
I nod. "So, tomorrow's Christmas," he says.
"Yeah!" I nod. "I'm excited for presents," I laugh. "How old am I?"
"Who isn't excited for presents!?" He asks.
"True," I nod. "I didn't get you anything, but you have me so it doesn't matter."
He laughs. "Yeah, it's all I need anyway," he nods. "I can't wait to get back to LA," he adds.
  "Why?" I ask. "I do not want to start school."
  "Not because of school you idiot," he laughs. "Because I want to see you," he adds.
  "Oh!" I grin. "Yeah, you're right," I nod.
  "Yeah, I actually was excited to get back to school, the most stressful thing in my life right now," he says sarcastically and I laugh.
  "Oh shut up," I wave him off. "Let's watch a movie, I'm bored."
  "Which one?" He asks.
  "Deck the halls!!" I exclaim.
  "Deck the halls," he says. "Sure that's a good movie."
  "I already watched Elf so I thought this," I grab my laptop.
  "Yeah, I already watched Elf twice," he nods. And he was grabbing something himself. "Tell me when you get it so we can count down and press play," he tells me.
  "Okay," I pull it up on my laptop and sit back comfortably. "I'm ready."
  "I'll count to 3, and on 3 we press play?" He asks.
  "Yeah."
  "Okay 1... 2... 3," he says and we both pressed play at the same time.
How cheesy was it that we were watching a movie together over FaceTime. I kind of loved it.

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