"The best feeling in the whole world is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long..."
--
Temple City, California
Annalisa Green -- January 6th, 1992 Location: 1341 Evergreen St.
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Ana's Diary 1/06/1992
Was this how it feels when you know a change is coming?
Lately I've been feeling.... good.
Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I've been able to breath better.
I admit, I thought that this moment would never come. Years of pain led me to believe that, that was the only thing I will ever feel.
Now here I am, almost eight years of my thoughts eating me alive, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harming, smiling and laughing. Playing around, hugging, and openly talking to others.
Wow.
And it still feels weird, but a good weird.
With it being a new year, I feel like this will be a good one. The Golden Year, I'll call it.
It will be the year of change. Better days. Happier moments. More friends. And more importantly: happiness, period.
I'll be the first to claim and speak into existence. This will be a better year for me.
- Ana 💋
***
I closed my journal, this time with a smile on my face. Oh, it feels so weird, I'll never get use to it.
Only six days into the new year and I was feeling oddly confident about... everything. I wanted this year to be good to me so badly, but I knew not to jinx it. I had to be patient. Let everything fully fall into place.
Per usual, I was at home, actually writing outside of my room. No, I wasn't in my bedroom this time... you heard it right. I, Annalisa Jolee Green, wasn't trapped in her room like always.
I was actually laying across the sofa in the living room, letting the television play as background sounds while I wrote. It was odd, but my creative juices flow better when there's a little sound near me. Not complete chaos, but more like the sounds of birds chirping, or even a light conversation.
