Chapter 26

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🙈 lololololol!
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Anais Jones, 9:00pm
It was December 5th and it was already snowing in New York. I mean coming down like a damn blizzard. See at stony brook, students and teachers had the option to stay home and take their own snow days so that's what we were doing today.

I heard nobody went to school because it was just that crazy outside. I ain't even mind. Every chance that I got to stay home, I took it. For one, the work was overwhelming and two shit was just awkward and eerie back at school.

After going to Jareds funeral, life just hit different. It made me think like, ya life could really be over in a spilt second. It haunted me for real. To look at his cold body in that casket and to remember the times we had just made me feel weird.

I'd been alone at lunch lately, so instead of talking I was just there thinking about my life. Also the world and the things that went on in other peoples lives as well. Just reflecting and really in my thoughts these last few days.

I was only really looking forward to one thing. And that was my birthday coming up on the 19th. I was turning 21. A legal adult. It didn't really feel like it though. I felt beyond my years so 21 still felt pretty young to me while I actually felt about 35.

It was too bad I ain't really have no one to celebrate with besides Bianca. I wasn't really feeling the idea of celebrating my birthday anyways. It was overrated and lowkey commercial.

All I wanted to do was chill in the crib with a few friends over, smoke, watch movies, and eat some junk but the thing was I ain't have friends.

Milo...I haven't talked to that nigga since that phone call we had. Didn't even see him around school like that either. Surprisingly, he showed up at Jared's funeral though.

But other than that, we stopped texting and calling all together. Shit just been weird.

I felt bad that I had to tell him that I wasn't interested like that. I was in the middle of crying when he called me and I really didn't feel like talking. I did anyways because I didn't want to be rude.

There was just a lot going on. The investigation being put on pause because of the weather, school, and Jared's death was just hitting me hard right now. I was in a lot of pain. So whatever I said to him was just projecting my feelings at the moment.

Didn't mean to take it out on him.

I needed to speak to him and tell him that. Really break down the facts for him so we could go back to being friends but I haven't heard from him at all.

Maybe if the weather cleared up and I saw him tomorrow or the next day, I could try and clear things up. For now I was literally just chillin.

Staring up into space, I thought about the one night me and Milo had together. The one night where I actually felt something towards him. The night where we danced like we were in a movie and I stared into his light brown eyes. But of course now they were dark brown which fucked my mind up.

How can someone's eye color change from light brown to dark brown in one day?

After that night, shit just wasn't the same and I couldn't put my finger on it. He acted so different before and I kind of liked him that way.

***
The morning after next...
Looking outside of my window, the sun was the first thing I saw. Bright and almost blinding me. I also saw that the snow was melted too. Like there'd been nothing on the ground.

I sat up closing my curtains, making it dark in my room again. Honestly that was the only way I could get ready.

I made my way to the bathroom wasting no time and slicking my hair back into a quick ponytail with water and gel. That was followed by me brushing my teeth and washing my face being that I got in the shower last night.

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