Jul 30 2016: The Best Weekend Of My Life Watching Over Me Here With Me (pt 3)

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I was sitting on the bench down the hall form wardrobe and dressing rooms, thankful that there was about five acts before I go on again. Connor came and sat next to me. He didn't say anything- I just started to cry harder.

When I finally calmed down, my head was on his lap and I just couldn't get up. "Seeing all those girls with there fathers or father figures reminded me that my father can't be here to share this adventure of my dreams coming true with me... Or share anything with me, anymore, for that matter..." Connor continued to rub my head and play with my hair.

"I know baby, I know." Connor said.

"I know that I can't have everything in this world, and I am lucky to have what I have, but is that too much to ask?" I asked him hypothetically.

"I know baby, and life can definitely be hard- I know that first hand." I sat up and he took my hands. I saw him tear up because I was. He whipped a tear from my eye. "If the circumstances were different, I know that He would be here watching you and he would be the proudest father ever. Your mother always told you to follow your dreams and that what you did. I know that your father would want the same for you. I know that he is smiling over you in heaven right now; he's dancing in his grave and singing along to ever song you are singing. Why? Because he is proud of you..." He paused to catch his breath. I whipped a tear from his eyes. "...Just like I am." I smiled and tried to catch my breath knowing that we had to get back to work so Justine wouldn't b by herself anymore and I wouldn't be late.

We stood up. "And when you sing your next song, dedicate it to him and know that he is smiling over you with tears of joy in his eyes. He is definitely watching over you, my love. And he always will be." Connor said with my hands in his. We smiled nervously threw the tears and... Made out right then and there...

I don't think I could be anymore lucky. I don't think he could be anymore right.

July 30th, 2014: The Best Weekend Of My Life- Watching Over Me, But Not Here With Me</3 (part 4)

I walked into wardrobe with Connor and me and the costume designer looked at the clothes. "This is for... Someone very special that couldn't be here tonight... So I need an outfit that is simple, but still Sydney Kutzin worthy." I smiled and winked at Connor. She smiled and knowing my sizes she picked something out for. She gave me black, bell-bottom, distraught jeans, a black, sparkly crop top shirt with the cut-off short sleeves, a big, statement belt, and tall, black, platform, black heels.

I nodded, because I know exactly what she was thinking. "What?" Connor asked. I chuckled. "What's going on?" He said. I rolled my eyes and ignored him. She handed me the clothes with some silver bangles and I went and got changed.

I came out only about two minutes later and his jaw fell completely opened. "Wow..." He said with my messy long, dirty blonde hair flowing over my shoulders.

"Well? What do you think?" I asked standing with my hands on my hips.

"You look... Amazing." He said. I smiled and walked over to my friend. She sat me down and quickly fixed my make up and my hair.

I looked at my phone and my heart dropped. "I gotta go..." I said. "But..." I run back to her and hugged her. "Thank you." I smiled breaking myself from the hug, but my arms were still around her. We were running outside and I was falling behind Connor because my shoes were too tall and I could barely run in them.

"Here." He said. "Hop on." I looked at him weird, like 'No, you can't'. "Come on, we gotta get you there." He said. So, I hopped on his back, hitched a ride, and he got me there with about three minutes to spare.

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