Life Ran Into Me

Dont say shit to me

I continued to sit on the couch with my legs crossed and arms folded with a full blown attitude waiting on his friend Effic to take us home. He had a car so it was better than catching the bus and still having to walk 15 minutes in the dark after what he put in my head. I didn't even want to look at him. "You got all the girls stuff?" He asked me ignoring my attitude. I didn't respond at all. I knew I had all their stuff. Effic didn't take long to arrive thank god because the air was getting thicker by the minute being in the same room with him. He got in the front seat and me and the girls were in the back as we tried to lay low because they weren't in car seats. I got out of the car and quickly got our things not saying a thing to Spazz.
For some time now the gas in my house had been cut off because after my family moved out there was a $500 gas bill that wasn't paid. When they moved in I completely forgot about it so I only made the agreement that they paid lights. I haven't had a job since living in the hotel because I was in school and only had daycare for as long as I was in high school. Bella already had her hands full with her own three kids, nephew and pregnant so she couldn't help me this time. Jessey and Thomas worked,  I had no support from anywhere. So eventually my gas was cut off and there was not heat in my house aside of the space heater that barely worked. I became immune to cold showers. And simple meals.  Any time I had to cook a meal I had to go to Stacie's house where the rest of my family lived. I wasn't welcomed there at all. My auntie and stacie never really liked me and it was vice versa so now that I needed them, they took a full blown advantage. It would be about 9pm that I showed up to their house about 5 days of the week. Whenever I knocked on the door they made sure to make it clear I wasn't wanted there but would fake it out like I was. Whenever Bella answered she let us in right away. She was always happy to see my kids she and her baby daddy were the only ones who made it comfortable for us to be there. Whenever my auntie opened the door she'd stand there and wait for a minute until I ask to come in. She'd acknowledge my kids only sometimes. Whenever stacie opened the door she'd do the same but not only would she stand in the door and wait she'd ask me "wussup?" And stare at me as if she didn't know why I was there. That made me cringe so I never showed any emotion towards her. Just dullness. "I mean can I come in" I asked trying to hold back my attitude. "She opened the door slowly to let us in. My attitude was kicking in from that alone. While im cooking their food my kids would play their Ashton, Stacie's son. She'd get mad if they put their hands on him and I'd get upset if he put his hands on them but only when he wasn't corrected because I always corrected mine. They were all only toddlers that's what they do so it wasn't that much of a big deal to me. So I kept an eye on them while they played. They began to fight over his stroller and play on it before it was taken away. All 3 of them. Stacie was upset because they wrre fighting for it instead of just giving it to him. They needed to go to the store for something so they walked with Ashton in the stroller. "Maybe that walk will calm her damn nerves" I thought to myself. I was hoping I'd be done cooking by the time she came back by unfortunately I was only halfway done. Her and my auntie walked back in the door talking about the stroller. "Somebody gone have to pay for it" stacie demanded "They was all playing with it" my auntie added. "What's wrong" Bella asked them to see what the fuss was about. "My baby strollen broken! She said rolling her eyes. I already knew some bullshit was coming when she said that. "The whole leg of the stroller is bent the wheel about to fall off" my auntie added. She always backed stacie up when it came to me. I fucking hate her.  "She gone have to put $10 towards me getting Ashton a new stroller" stacie said as if I was sitting in the same room just quietly watching and listening. I felt my temper rising. I hated when someone could get me to the point where I black out. It's horrible when I do. There's 4 stages of my anger. A stage where im just annoyed and working to calm down, a stage where Im snapping talking my shit, a stage where I cry before trying to fight cussing out anyone who has anything to say that I don't want to hear and the last stage where I black out and have no control over my self. My auntie caused me to be at the last stage once or twice but luckily jessey was always there to stop me and clam me down. The more they talked about the stoller being broken the more my anger rose. "How the fuck? My babies aren't even strong enough to bend a stroller leg let alone break the wheel off that's stupid" I snapped on Stacie. "Yo kids was fighting with Ashton over my baby stroller and now its broken and you need to put $10 towards me getting hin a new one" she said rolling her neck. If she wasn't so skinny I would've been beat her ass a long time ago. That always spared her. I don't know if it'll spare her this time. I was dealing with too much shit nj my life to have somebody piss me off like this. " im not paying you shit cause my kids didnt break that damn stroller it wasn't even like that when yall left you btoke the damn stroller" I said getting more hyped. My auntie once again added her two cents and it went down hill from there I was arguing with both of them. We were all yelling so loud that no one heard what each other was saying. "You can get out my house" she said to me. She was close to me so I got in her face.. "Put me out this muhfucka" I said daring her to do something. I knew it was a bitch move because she was so skinny but she had it coming. "You at my house being disrespectful and running up my gas bill" she said backing up still talking shit. "You and yo mama been at my house for a long ass time and she didn't pay for no damn gas why you think im over here and yo ass was getting paid every week and didn't put any of it towards nothing so dont say shit bout me using no damn gas" I yelled at her getting back in her face. Luckily as always jessey was there at the right time holding me back and trying to calm me down. It backfired a little because I almost snapped on her too for teying to calm me down. "Just let it go Lena and go home for tonight" she said calmly. "Fuck no you only saying that shit because its not you! It's not you and yo kids! You don't know how the fuck this feel" I yelled at her trying to get her out of my way. I kept my eyes on Stacie because my temper was steady rising. "Bitch I'll slap the shit out you" I threatned stacie. Bella drew the line there. She was trying to make peace but after me threatning stacie she just agreed that I went home. Everybody wanted me to leave and had I stayed my temper would've eventually turned to my last phase and anybody who wanted it could get it. So I didn't finish cooking I just made sure .  my babies had enough food that'll hold them over until the drama died down. The next morning I came back when stscie and her mom was at work. Bella was there but she didn't know if it was okay that I was there so she snuck me in and out everyday cleaning evidence that I was there and when I was I'd cook everything I needed for that day. Finally a weekend come where I forgot they'd be home. I knocked on the door and waited for somebody to answer. No one answered. It was extremely hot outside and her porch didn't provide much shade. My babies were starting to sweat. Their cups were empty and it was morning so they were hungry. Its been about 10 minutes of me knocking. I knew they were there. I heard Ashton playing. Maybe they didn't answer because it was too loud to hear me knocking. So I bammed on the door for another 5 minutes. Stacie finally answered the door and stood there as usual. I wasn't with the bull shit so I didn't say anything. "I need $10 for my baby stroller she said with one hand out and the other one on her hip. "My babies didn't break your stroller" I said with a annoyed tone. She shut the door in my face. I bammed on the door again for another 5 minutes and this time my auntie answered it. "What ***lena" she said annoyed. I was getting furious. "Im just trying to cook my kids breakfast" I said calmly. "She don't want you in her house ***lena" she said. "Okay well can you cook my kids breakfast they need to eat something" I said "She don't want you using her gas either". "Yall really waited 20 minutes had me out here knocking waiting with my babies in the sun just because yall want money from me over something my kids didn't do" I summed up. "She don't want you in her house" she said as she shrugged her shoulder. "Man fuck yall. Fuck you and Stacie" I said pushing my babies stroller. "Fuck you too I didn't do nothing to you" she yelled as she slammed the door. I didn't want to hear that shit. All I was thinking about was how to feed my kids and a million ways I was going to break into their house and fuck everything up and take valuables. My phone was off so I couldn't call Jessey and Thomas to help me and I didn't want to walk a mile in the sun with my babies. There was only one place left for me to go to feed them. Spazz's place.