Life Ran Into Me

The beginning of cheating

Every morning I would wake up at 8am ti get ready and leave my house no later than 9:15 Everyone would still be sleep except my dad. He was always up between 5 and 6am. I would kiss spazz to let me know I'm leaving and he'd always tell me he loved me and to have a good day halfway sleep. He had lost his job at the car wash so he wasn't making money anymore, let alone doing anything. He said it's because his boss didn't want to pay him what his work was worth he wanted to pay him $40 like he did everyone else and Spazz nor his brother settled for that. So they both weren't working. On my way out the door I'd kiss my babies and gave my dad a hug. I loved going to work because this was the first job I worked in about 2 years since the hotel. I'd catch a 10 minute bus to downtown, a 20 minute bus to philips highway wait 30 minutes and take another 20 minute bus to my job in Baymeadows to be there before I clocked in at 11am. I met a few people there who made it fun enough for me to not feel so miserable there. I was shocked to see that an old highschool friend was in charge of me. A higher position. This made me realize how much further back I was in life and that I should've been way more ahead. 2 weeks in I was expecting my first paycheck of $440. Due to the pay period I was only getting one week's worth at the time. I never had that much money of my own besides my income tax 2 years ago. So I was excited and thinking about the many things I wanted to do with it. I was told since I didn't have direct deposit that my first check would be a paper check and 4 days late. I didn't care because I was still getting paid. The morning came and I went to check my mailbox before going to work and it wasn't there. Maybe it just need a little nore time to arrive I thought. So I waited 2 more days and still, nothing. I clocked in and asked for permission to go to HR as soon as I got there. They informed me that my check was lost in the mail and that I had to fill out a stop payment form. "Well when will I get my check?" I asked highly upset. I didn't show it though just to be professional. He handed me a debit card and said "in about a week your money should be on this card. I hated that I had to wait that long but 2 checks at once wasn't so bad. I came home to tell randy about how I wouldn't receive my check until a week after I was supposed to. He listened to everything I told him. He paid close attention and gave me helpful feed back and advice, everything. My dad always made sure the girls had eaten and were sleep by the time I got home so I was missing them alot. One thing he didn't do was bathe them. "Randy the girls are starting to smell... When was the last time they had a bath?" I asked as I took off my office like dress and sandals. "I don't know yo dad had them all day. He the one who be baby sittin I thought he be bathing them" he said as he laid on the bed with his hands behind his head. He watched me as I undressed. "Well tell him to bathe them tomorrow my babies shouldn't be smelling like that." I said grabbing my shower essentials. "Alright bae I'll talk to him in the morning." He grabbed the game controller and unpaused the game and put all his focus into it. I always take about 30-45 minutes in the shower abd because it was ate I was expecting him to be sleep. But he wasn't he was still playing the game when I got out. I got into bed and tried to cuddle with him but he said "just one more game bae and I'll turn it off" but "one more game" didn't happen until early in the morning when I was surely sleeping already. This was the routine every single night. I recieved my check just 2 days before It was the second payday. As soon as I told Randy I got paid, he needed shit. I paid some of my light bill, bought a bus card for 2 weeks, bought my babies some clothes and toys and gave Randy some money to reup because he went back to selling weed without his job at the car wash. I didn't expect to go broke thag quick but my paycheck of $888 was supposed to be here in 2 days so it didn't matter. Unfortunately for me it didn't arrive in the mail or the card once again so I was frustrated and discouraged to still be working there. I came home to Spazz playing the game, my babies well fed, asleep and dirty. Swift was eating whatever my dad cooked for dinner and spaz always ate without me. I was so upset with the way things were going. "Randy you need to pay more attention the girls" I said finally putting my foot down. "What the fuck you mean" he said as he paused the game. "Every time I come home my kids are dirty. You be here all damn day and they smell like that. My house is always a mess the food is always gone and this room smell like musk." I said as I waved my hand in my face trying to clear the smoke. He had hot boxed my room with weed. "Man yo dad be gone with the girls all day and by the time they get back they be ready to go to sleep. I be out hustling trying to get some money to put food in the house too." He said catching an attitude. We were beginning to run out of food. My foodstamps were enough for me April and Praise not us plays 3 other grown men. So I let the argument go instantly and changed the subject. Besides I had a long day. "Bae my check didn't come. I gotta wait another week for it. The same thing happened." I said rolling my eyes. "Damn bae you need to get a different job if they aint paying you." He said resuming to the game. I was sick of him and that damn game. "Bae can we go see the new movie 'what men want'? We need to go on a date or something." I said. "We don't have the money to do shit Lena. We need to save.. We got bigger shit to worry about than going to the movies. My pockets hurting right now and you ain't getting paid im sorry bae but no" he said with a serious face shaking his head still focusing on the game. Where did he get all this "we" talk from? I begged him for us to go out somewhere to spice our relationship up just a little bit but he kept saying no. I was miserable everyday. At night we were having sex 5 times a week or he was playing the game all night long. Even when we got done with sex he turned it on. I was so bored in the relationship. "We don't do shit! Im sick of going to work and coming home to a dirty house and my kids not taken care of and you always playing the game and sitting around here everyday all day being lazy! Spazz you have to do something!" I yelled. That was it I was fed up with everything. He wanted to fix nothing. "You know what we should've just stayed as friends. Ima pay my $200 a week for rent and sleep in my brother room so I don't have to be your problem no more" he said as if he didn't even care. That was a big decision for him tobmake on such short notice. I knew our relationship would never be strong if he was ready to end it like that for such a petty argument. I agreed to it though. "Whatever im bout to go smoke" I said as I went downstairs and downed a cup of liquor Bella left in my refrigerator for me and smoked my black. My dad had 2 wine coolers for me too so I got fucked up. And everyone knows when yoy get drunk you cry for the person you truly love. So I called Henry. I was so shocked that he answered because we haven't talked in months. I was flirting with him all night. 2 am in the morning I was on the porch smiling from ear to ear because of him. Randy heard me laughing so hard he came downstairs and stepped outside. "Who you talking to?" He leaned over me to pick up the rest of the black that I didn't smoke. "I'm talking to karla" I said lying to him. As soon as I said that Henry spoke. It was so loud and right next to spazz I thought he heard him. Luckily he didnt. My heart dropped. He hit the black twice and asked when I was going back to bed. "I'll be in there in a little bit. Karla going through something personal so I gotta be there for her." I said convincing him even more that I wasn't on the phone with a nigga. Henry became the only person aside of my babies making shit feel okay for me. We talked all day every day. As soon as I left my house in the morning, waiting on my buses, on lunch, on my breaks before I got home, I even snuck and texted him laying next to Randy very often. I had his name saved under Karla so he would never go through our messages. I was head over heels about Henry but he still remained far away in Indiana.