Life Ran Into Me

So What's Going On

"Man im sick I don't have time for this shit." He said as he put his whole body back under the cover. He was sleeping in the middle of the living room so everybody crowded him to catch him in his vicious ass lies. He pretended to be so sick that he couldnt move and could barely talk. Everybody has had enough of his shit and wanted to jump his ass but they completely left him alone in disgust.. I was thinking that I might be pregnant with his child so I have to stick around. I wasn't even angry. I was hurt, young, gullible and naive. As everybody left the room I spoke softly to him "I wish I could make you feel better. I hate to see you like this" I knew he was too ashamed to face me so he didn't say anything back. I shortly got my act together and I walked out pretending to be as mad as everyone else was.

Sooner or later it became obvious that I was still messing with him. This was the biggest crush i've had. At this point I felt like nothing was going to change that. My family was so  disappointed in me that I made this decision but they didnt know what I knew. So I continued to text him on the weekdays and see him at night on the weekends.

*2 months into dating him*

"Here drink this cup baby." I tried to get him drunk because I could get him to tell me anything that way. He vented to me so deeply until he cried. I felt for him. So I didnt want to break his heart by leading him into a failure of a girlfriend that I knew I was going to be. "Baby I dont think this is gonna work. I love you but we need to take a break before we fall apart." He looked directly into my eyes for a moment then told me he didnt want us to break up and that I couldnt leave him hanging. Its not that I wanted to break up.. I had so much insecurity of how unfaithful this man can be and so much insecurity within myself.  So I only wanted a break. "You can find someone else for now I wont be mad at you." He said "Nah ma im good, I just want you. Just don't creep around on a nigga" But sure enough he found someone else. Quickly. And it was a crazy bitch.

*Fast Forward 1 Week*

Late night coming home from a long walk from the gym I ran into spazz walking home from work. He worled at a carwash close to our homes. I had my bag of changing shoes and clothes and also a pregnancy test. "Hey love" I said happy to run into him as I gave him a tight hug. "Wussup Ma" he grabbed my gym bag so I wouldn't have to carry it for the rest of the walk. He was so happy to see me too, he couldn't stop smiling. "I got a surprise for you" I pulled out a pregnancy test and when he seen it, it was like the whole world paused. His heart dropped and face went blank. But I laughed and showed him that it was negative. His reaction was hilarious we laughed about it for a while walking home. I asked him how has he been and I knew he was lying but he told me he was lonely but getting himself together. As we were entering the apartments a car pulled in flying right past us. It was really dark so we could barely be seen. He immediately stopped us and told me he had a friend helping him get a new apartment and find a better paying job. Her and her brother. "They cool people." I gave him the benefit of the doubt to believe him. He gave me a kiss and said "go ahead ma ima holla at this nigga real quick" he pulled out his phone to make a phone call "Okay goodnight baby." I walked into the apartments and he stood there not entering the apartments. Coming up the stairs to my house I seen that same car pulling out of the parking space.

I walk into my house and Meme, Bella, Jessey & Swift in there with the drinks yelling and turnt up. They offered me a cup and me knowing my pregnancy test said negative I drunk cup after cup after cup until I couldn't handle myself no more physically or mentally. I did NOT want kids I was happy, I was fucked up. I went into my room at the time I shared one with Karla and her boyfriend Verdel(ex now) to have a bit of fun with them and fun it was they recorded all of it. Out of no where I see spazz peek his head into my door he seen that I was drunk and stuck around for a minute or two and left. I wanted to party with him but he couldn't even stay still he said "sorry ma I gotta go" I couldn't even get a sentence in before he walked out the door. I wondered why he was in such a rush. I followed him after he walked out the door and seen him get inside the same car that flew past us and pulled out of the parking lot earlier. I thought it was his homie that he called earlier but no. As the car pulled off I seen a bitch mean mugging me.