Life Ran Into Me

Are you going to help me or not

I did not want to hit this nigga up and ask him for anything. My food stamps had been cut off too so everything I had, had to be cooked. I didn't have money to take them out to eat and I only had microwave and quick stove food that was quickly running out. Spazz felt bad about what he did to me that day so he promised me he'd help me get food for the girls when he got paid. I started visiting him again.  Finally when pay day came I popped up to his house because he said it was okay. He never gave me a time but I came earlier than usual. When I knocked on the door he acted shocked to see me. He was looking at me confused. He had a few other niggas in there and the room was full of smoke. He opened the windows to let it clear out as me and the girls stayed on the porch until it did. As we go in to sit on the couch I see bottles of liquor everywhere a big bag of weed and also a big bag of molly. He has a habit of smoking his product and barely benefiting  from it so I knew he just blew his money. They were all in there high and drunk thanks to him for buying it all. I didn't want to come off as begging so I waited a good hour before asking him for the money so I could go. He said "now that I got paid yo ass wanna be over here bright and early." I was so confused why he snapped on me. Maybe it was the drugs and drinks in his system causing him to be aggressive and forgetful. "You always got yo damn hand out" he said these things loud enough that only I could hear him. I was so fed up "Nigga you ain't shit! Everybody else over here so apparently I didn't come that damn early the fuck.. You told me I can come over here today and that you would give me some money to put food in my house and now you acting stupid" I yelled making a scence. His friends were just watching as I cussed him out. I knehe was embarrassed. To make him even more embarrassed I started talking to all his friends "yo friend a deadbeat ass nigga who refuse to take care of his kids and when I ask him for help this is the shit he do then snap on me the liquor yall drinking  should have been my babies' diapers the weed yall smoking should have been food in their mouth" I said as I got my kids things and slammed their door. I was pissed off completely. Halfway to the bustop Spazz ran and caught up to me and said "Don't go ma. I'm sorry just don't leave yet I will help you with the girls I just got pissed off cause you popped up at bad timing I was making a play and finna make more then you came showing yo ass" he handed me $60. "That's all I got right now I had to reup. Ima give you more after I make these plays" I calmed down. It wasn't much but it was something. I wasn't asking for much either. I could make $60 last. So we walked back to Kiko's house as I sat and waited. All of his friends had left except Kiko...I mean I guess because it was his house. He left to "go make a play" as I sat there for about 20 minutes. My kids were saying "eat eat" so I figured I coukd get them some McDonalds across the street. He said he would give me more when he's done making his plays anyway so it's okay. I got there and ordered them both a kids meal. I didn't get myself anything because i didn't ask him for money for me. I barely liked McDonalds anyway. As they're eating Spazz approached us. "I thought you was gone wait at the house, Kiko told me yall was here." He said. "The girls kept saying eat eat so I came here" I replied. "Ma I need a favor from you" he said rubbing his hands together. I don't have shit what could I possibly do for him I thought. "What?" I asked. "I need the money back and I swear ima give it back to you ima explain it later" he said as he looked me in the eyes. Something told me not to give it back but I did. "You promise you gone give it back?" I asked with a disappointed face. "Yeah ma I promise. Take my girls home and ima be over there when im done making these plays" he said. He gave the girls a kiss on the cheek and left. I haven't heard from Spazz since then. He wouldn't respond to a single call or text from me. So now out of the blue im hitting him up to cook my kids food at his house would be so much weight on my chest. Eventually I got up the courage to ask him and he told me that I could. I showed up about 30 minutes after he said yes. When I arrived I seen him coming down stairs with another guy and the guy's girlsfriend. "MAN WHAT THE FUCK LENA" He yelled at me before I could even say hey. I was so puzzled. "You can't just keep popping up over here! I told you you can come yeah but that don't mean so damn early this not my house what the fuck" he continued to snap on me. I rolled my eyes and let out a big sigh.. I just need to make some noodles and ima go. I kept it short and simple. He looked at me in such a mean way. He unlocked the door and walked off. Didn't even acknowledge the girls not one single bit. About 5 minutes later he texted me telling me to hurry up and cook my kids good and after that to stay away from him. He still kept saying he was going to give the $60 back but the day never came.