Life Ran Into Me

I fell back into my old ways

My niece went home late that night. Still didn't have her $10. I was still upset about that and the fact that my dad has now been kicked out I could no longer work. I was bummed about that too. Luckily I had one last paycheck coming in that would get me by for a month until I figured something out. On the bright side, no dad and babydaddy, my house felt like it was at peace once again. Just me April and Praise. The first 2 weeks I enjoyed it then it became very lonely. April and Praise was leas occupied so I became more irritated with them. Stuck in the house evryday on a routine became hell. We'd wake up, eat breakfast, talk on the phone with Henry for hours, take a nap, talk on the phone with Henry for more hours, eat dinner, shower and talk on the phone with Henry until I fell asleep. On a good day we'd walk to the store or far away to a park. The closest park we had was right in front of Effic's house where Spazz was now living so I refrained from going there. I was starting to get depressed once again.
*3 weeks after randy got kicked out*
I've been hearing from random people that they've seen Spazz and he would try to vent to them about me kicking him out and saying I cheated on him. Bella even told me he came to her house pissed off and sad telling her to read the things I said to him. He was hurt and didn't let it go for a while. I liked that and felt satisfied about it because I didn't even care. The shoe was finally on the other foot. Out of the blue he texted me. "What are you doing for your birthday? We should go bowling. I still have no one to spend my birthday with and I miss the girls. I want to do something for them. Let me know." I knew he missed us alot. Our birthdays are 3 days apart so we always planned to spend them together but we were never on good terms at the times. I was lonely and sick of our everyday routine. It took hours for me to reply but I finally answered "yes". The very next day he asked if he could see the girls because he missed them. At this point I've never held the girls away from Randy no matter what we went through because the girls had nothing to do with it and shouldn't suffer not seeing their dad who they've become attached to. So I met him at the park in front of his house. It was hella awakward. I kept looking in my phone hoping that Henry would call me so I wouldn't have to talk to him but he never did. He was also trying to be occupied in his phone to refrain from even much looking at me. I knee he wanted to break down and talk about it and eventually come back home but neither one of us broke. We just acted as if neither of us where there. Finally it was getting dark. "I'm gonna take the girls home now its getting late I don't want them outside when it's dark." I said "alright just text me Ima be at house and I'll come out whenever you ready so I can see my girls" he said. "Okay. Say bye bye to daddy" I said as I waved. "Bye bye daddy" they yelled in hyperness as they ran up to him hugging his legs. "Bye daddy babies, I love you" he said picking them both up giving them kisses and hugs. I put them in the stroller and we parted ways. This became something that happened twice a week. It wasn't much but I was okay with what it was. It was enough.
Sitting on the couch during my same boring daily routine I scrolled past a hiring ad on Facebook. It paid well and it was close. I didn't have a plan but I applied for the job anyway. I told jessey about the job too. The very next day I received an email stating I needed to come in for an interview. The day before the interview I was so excited and caught up in talking to Henry that I only got 2 hours of sleep. I had no money at the time so Bella agreed to watch my kids for a few hours for $30 in food stamps. I didn't know how long the interview would take and the bus rides but I hoped that covered it. That same day I asked bella if she'd while I work for $150 every two weeks. She agreed. 2 days after I started working she told me she couldn't baby sit anymore because she was going to start a bartending class. I was so upset because I wish I knew this before moving forward. Luckily Thomas was willing to babysit for $160. I put in an application for a daycare program and was waiting on a response so I wouldn't have to pay so much for childcare. The amount a week I would've been paying without the voucher would be $380. I couldn't afford that. So every morning I would take a bus to jessey's house to drop the girls off,take the bus to downtown then another to work. A bus from work, a bus to jessey's house and then another to get home. Every night we'd make it home from 10:30pm-11:15 even though I got off work at 9. This routine made it so hard to be motivated but when I got that first paycheck, it was the biggest one I've ever gotten. And unlike my last job, on time. Jessey then got hired at the same place so it made working there even better and later on down the line so did Karla. Work was lit for me.
One night I got paid and Spazz hit me up. He was unware that I got paid but he wanted to see the girls. It was late and I had a bottle already halfway drunken. "Wanna go with me to walmart?" I asked as he played with the girls. I was bad at holding onto money. Walmart always called my name. "I want to get the girls some toys" I said as I poured his cup. He sipped the cup and scrunched up his face because the first shot is always the worst. "Why you want to go this late? Can we go tomorrow? He asked as he took another sip. "No I want to go now" I laughed at the faces he kept making from the liquor as drunk mine like water. There was only one walmart open and it was on the other side of town. The uber costed $24 there and $24 back. But I was drunk and paid and ready to go so I didn't care. We got to walmart and spent a good two hours there deciding on what toys to buy the girls. I ended up buying them an inflated tent with many balls in it and a bunch of clothes and make up for myself. I didn't even mention getting him anything. On our way home my drink was wearing off and the liquor was gone. "Can you make a stop by the store?" I asked the uber driver." I wanted to get wine coolers so I could be drunk until I fell asleep.   I ended up buying 4 wine coolers. 3 for me and 1 for Randy. Once we got home I only had 2 left because I drunk one in the car. I got the girls ready for bed and drunk another one. By this time I was really drunk and so was randy. It didn't take much to get him drunk. I already knew he was still fucked up from the liquor. I just had to make it official with the wine cooler. We spent a few moments talking about the past and how we hurt each other before he started touching on my booty when he hugged me. He did his signature move to get me in the mood, he started sucking on my neck. "Hold on, it's been a long day can I go shower first?" I said I already knew what he wanted. But sadly I wanted it too. It's been so long since I had sex and I was drunk so that made me want it even more. I drunk my last wine cooler while I was in the shower so it felt extremely good. I took so long I didn't want to get out. I put on the new sexy pajamas I just bought as I headed back downstairs barely able to walk straight. He was on the couch halfway awake waiting on me. We wasted no time and got straight to it. When we were done I instantly became regretful. It was wack. It wasn't worth it.