Life Ran Into Me

Figure it out

I finally made it to my mom's house. The inside looked very old fashioned and big. Something like a childhood home I was supposed to have but didn't. I sat on the couch and waited for my babies and mom to get there. As if I didn't have enough awkwardness for one day, I was stuck in the living room with Aj's company. I never truly liked him. I always faked the funk because something about him is really off. He acts too perfect. Too happy to see me every time, says "I love you" even though he barely knows me and even tried to kiss my forehead once. He's done my mom extremely dirty many times and thinks I don't know about it and try to look like a good man. As I sat on the couch scrolling through my boring timeline on Facebook he kept trying to spark up conversation. I was the least bit of interested so I kept it very short. After about 30 minutes, they were here. "Hey baby" my mama said as my babies ran up to me in pure excitement. She sat down bags of groceries on the table and handed the girls slices of mangos. "Can I take some of this with me?" I asked going through her bags. "You don't got no food at your house?" She asked. She started packing me some of the food things like chips and fruit and some ravioli. The girls love it. "Yeah we do but we running out. We barely have stuff" I said. After she packed the food, I let the girls spend a hour or two playing. The room was full of toys. Aj and my mom decided to walk us to the bus stop. He walks fast so me and my mom had the privacy to talk. "So my light bill adding up. I got another bill. It's almost $400 now." I said. I wasn't asking her for money but I felt like she was someone I should confide in. Right? "I been telling you to put an extension on it so you could have more time to pay it. She said. "I want to wait until the day before last to do that so I could have more time." I replied. "Okay well tomorrow when I get my check, ima give you $180 and you can put that on it" she said. Even though I wasn't asking for that, im glad we agreed on her doing that for me. It was going to help me out alot.
*Next Day*
Later during the day I get a call from my mom. "I got some of the money, ima give you the rest tomorrow but you got to come get it." She said. I was on my way asap. She met us at the bus stop so we wouldn't have to get off and wait to catch another one. She rushed onto the bus and gave the girls hugs and air kisses and handed me folded up money. "Like I said that's only some of it, ima give you the rest tomorrow. Put your money away. I love you!" Maybe she didn't yell that but she was loud enough to sound like she was yelling. She moves so fast. It's like her body moves before her mind processes why.  Once the bus pulled off I pull out the money to count it. No wonder she folded it up this way. It was only $60. I was grateful though. There's still tomorrow.

*Next day*
I was waiting on her to call me but she never did. So I made a few attempts but they were unanswered. During the night she called me and told me that she doesn't have the money and she needed to request a loan. And in the mean time she was going to be contacting agencies that has helped her in the past that will help me. A day or two goes by a she tells me she was unable to get the loan and that I need to figure something out because she could no longer help me. She said she has been missing too much work because of me. Basically making me feel shitty for coming to her. Later that night out the blue Jessey, my sister, called me panicking. "Lena what's going on?!  Why you didn't tell me it was that bad?! What mama talking about?!" "What are you talking about?" I asked completely confused. "My auntie just called me and told me she told grandma that you didn't have no food in your house and that your lights are about to be off and you're getting evicted and CPS is going to get your kids! "What the fuck" I was so lost. I didn't know what to say. Why would she say that? Why would she exaggerate and lie like that? And why in the fuck is she telling everyone my business? "She told you that? I asked. "No she told grandma that and grandma told my auntie and my auntie told me" jessey said slowly losing the panic in her voice. I wasn't on good terms with my auntie mentally so I was furious that she knows my business infused with big ass lies. Not even just that but the fact that she told anyone. That was only my business I finally opened up to come to her about. Word travels and gossip spreads so fast in my family. I was so furious. I called my mom my about 5 times in a row and no answer. Over a few days I constantly called her. I never git a answer in fact, I was blocked at one point because it wouldn't even ring anymore.