Life Ran Into Me

Do you care or not

Although I had plans on asking him to help me pay the girls daycare fee, I had to ask... "Are you getting the girls something for Christmas?" Really just to set the tone. To let him know that im still expecting him to help some way some how. And to see how he would respond. "Yeah ima try, what took you so long to get your mind right?" He asked. He brushed the question off so easy but how could I say something about it if he didn't say no? He still had me fucked up though. What took ME so long to get MY mind right? As if IM the irresponsible parent? I wanted to snap on him so badly. When I was younger Henry told me that not everything deserves a reaction and that stuck with me forever. So I didn't even react. It wasn't worth it. "What do you mean" I asked knowing damn well what he meant. I told him I was deleting my Facebook because my nerves were over worked and that question had me on edge. I always deactivate Facebook when I don't want to be bothered with anyone or anything. I didn't though because the girls started to talk about him more. Now that they've seen his face and spoke to him and what not. So I let them continue to talk to him. We'd video chat for no more than 20 minutes a day. After a few days, I finally dropped the question... More like demand. "Whenever you get your check this month, I need you to send $78 so I can pay for the girls daycare fee." A day goes by and he haven't responded yet. I hated when he did this. He didn't even call to talk to the girls. Another day passed and I texted him "we need to talk" to his knowledge its going to be about what I had already asked him. But it wasn't. Praise has his genes. The doctors were considering getting her tested for the same disorders as him. With disorders, comes medicine. I knew Spazz used to take his medicine so I wanted to know what it was actually like. If it was worth it. "Hello" I texted again before video calling him. "Why am I still trying to get help from this deadbeat" I thought to myself. And the answer is, is because I know he has money coming. And that I had access to it. And that I should ask him and give him every opportunity to help me or I was going to take all of his money. He answered the video call but he barely had connection so I hung up. "What do you want" he texted me. It makes me sick how his attitude gets when I ask him to take some responsibility of his kids. I explained to him what the doctors were considering for Praise when she gets of age and what it would be like if I agreed with them giving her treatment. He engaged so much quickly. He started to send paragraphs about being on medicine and how it effected him negatively. The more he elaborated, the sadder it made me for Praise. Maybe it would effect her differently? Maybe she'll grow out of it? Or it wont be so bad? He offered to call me because he had so much to say about it and wanted me to understand the consequences of letting them treat her. He mentioned many times that she would get a big check for it but failed to realize I would never choose money over my baby's health or well being. About 30 minutes go by off deep conversation about it and I start to hear shawanda in the background catching an attitude with him about being on the phone with me for so long. He didn't want to hear that shit at the moment. "Man im talking about my fuckin baby!" He yelled at her. "Lena hold on im bout to step outside she trippin" he told me. I heard her continue to talk shit. Another 15 minutes go by and she starts tripping again. "You been on the phone with that bitch for almost an hour ain't that much to talk about in the world" I heard  her loud ghetto cancerous voice in the background. "I gotta go just make sure you think about that before you put her on them meds" he said before hanging up.