Life Ran Into Me

How Could You Do This To Me

"I gotta go ma she with that crazy shit" he said acting annoyed. And met up with her before she could meet him here. My family kept asking if I was okay because they could see the embarrassment on my face that he was always leaving me and thought he end up being in jail. I packed my bags and was gone by the morning back to the other side of town to go to school and haven't spoke with Spazz since.

*Fast forward to weekend*

Shon hits me up again and invites me to run errands with him. And I could use that time with him because he made life feel okay. By this time it became summer, school was out. So i had all the free time in the world and spent almost every day with Shon for about a month. We only had sex twice but he was dragging me deeper and deeper in my feelings leading me on to the fact that we were gonna be something. I don't knke what it was about me that made me want to be in a relationship with someone so bad. I was in need of love and attention. A day came that he had so much fun.. He said there's something he wanted to ask me. He got very serious so I was all ears and said "You can ask me anything" I thought he was gonna make us offical again and he was trying to find the right words to say it. I wish he'd just spit it out already. " there's this girl I been bonding with and I really think she's the one for me. I knew her for a long time now and I just wanna make that move" Im thinking its werid that he's speaking like that instead of just saying my name but whatever I loved what he was saying already. "Her name Krishelle and she's alot older than me but i feel because of that, she can show me something new." I looked at him so disgustingly. "What? Who is Krishelle?" I could not drop the look on my face it was stuck. He had me more and more fucked up by the minute. "Why the fuck would you do all this with me if you didn't plan on getting back together? Who does that? You led me on for this long just to say some shit like that!" I snapped on slightly. I was beyond angry but even then I couldn't talk to him too crazy. I didn't have it in me because he never talked to me in any fucked up way. So I decided to stop talking period. He explained that he was sorry and had no intentions of leading me on he just wanted to make me happy and be there for me. I didn't budge to say a word. I was so heartbroken once again. All I could do it cry silently and look out the window on the long ride home.

Later on that night I step out on my porch to get some air and I see Spazz and his brother Swift smoking. I look down and I see that bitch's car. So ignored him because I had enough going on. He approached me and calmly said "What's up ma". At that point I realized she wasn't in the car otherwise he wouldn't have approached me. I still didn't want to talk. But stupid old me listened to his apology and let him explain his self. He started to touch my stomach and said how are the babies doing... He haven't acknowledged my pregnancy in a long time. I had been through much sickness and appoints and critisim at this point without him by my side through any of it. I expressed the hurt that I felt that he was doing me like that. He asked me I needed anything so I told him I needed to go to walgreens to get more prenatal pills. It was pitch black outside and it was a bit far so we didnt walk. We rode in her car. Once we got to walgreens we saw that they were closed. So on our way back home I suggested we just ride around to chill. He said that he wanted to find a dark spot. "Why??" I asked him even though I knew why. He just laughed and said " I miss you". I don't know if I was hurt by what shon did or if it was the simple fact that I was boy crazy or just plain stupid if not all of the above. "I miss you too."  We finally found a dark spot near a park. He told me to get in the back seat and he followed me after. He pulled my pants off and went straight into getting his nut. No foreplay or anything. I felt so sick.  I thought to leave my panties under the seat of her car just to let her know we fucked in it for the next time she was feeling like she wanted to be crazy. But I didn't want to get him caught because he was using her for a place to live and I was only 16 so he couldn't come live with me if she found out and decided to kick him out. He drops me off at home and pulls off after our goodnights and kisses. I walk in the house and my sister is up. I didn't even wanna look at her because of what happened between us 3. I knew she knew who I was just with and what just happened.  But I walked right past her and showered and went to sleep.

A week later we find ourselves doing the same thing. But this time he made me feel it. He gave his all. Towards the end it started to hurt so I stopped him. He climaxed twice already anyway. While dropping me off I got out the car and it hurt to stand up. "Damn nigga you done made me sore" I said as we started laughing and he was bragging about how he put it down.

The very next morning I got a text from him saying he wasnt gonna be around me until the kids were born. I was so confused because just ladt night we were having sex and now this morning you're leaving me once again. He said that he's in a relationship and he loves her and want to do right by her. I cussed this man out from A to Z so she had he two cents. "Bitch you want my man so bad. Move on hoe first you lied about your age and when all of a sudden he get into a relationship with me you want to lie and say you pregnant by him, you even told him you wanst pregnant bitch you need to keep tabs on the real baby daddy and leave my nigga alone."  Im so fed up at this point I didnt even argue back. All I said was "Well fucking in your car was fun while it lasted." She refused to believe that happened. He was good at switching sides by now so quickly he says "bitch I never fucked you in her car I haven't touched you in months." I couldn't even find the words to express my anger. Not because he lied but because of how easily and quickly he lied.

*a week later*

"May I speak with Ms. Stevens?" I got a random phone call from my obgyn. "This is her." I said. "Hi, I hope youre doing okay I just wanted to follow up with you on some news." I thought she was gonna tell me she knew the genders of my kids but no. "Im sorry we weren't able to tell you this on your last visit but you need to come back to get treated for a sexually transmitted disease."