Life Ran Into Me

Just happened

It was torture staying in a house with 6 people when it's only meant for a couple. We were so used to having a whole spacious house to ourselves so being in a room all day with very little privacy was depressing. I couldn't say anything because I'd look ungrateful and I was. I dwelled on how long it would take me to get my shit together to leave their house because tension grew thicker the longer we stayed. Thomas began to nag about absolutely everything too making the stay worse than what it needed to be. "Why don't you go to Allegiance staffing?" Jessey suggested. "What's that?" I asked. "It's basically a temp agency. You apply and they gone let you start working the next day and it's weekly pay." She replied. "Well why the fuck are you just now telling me about this?" I thought. "Where is it? Ima go tomorrow" I said. I was skeptical because I never heard of something like that. It sounded too good to be true so I kept dwelling on what to do in the back of my mind. After a few hours It came to me. Just a few days before my lights turned off Ms Cindy, my second more like first mom told me "I like to give out loans to family and friends. I will always do it unless they never pay me the loan back." We were on a lunch date when she told me this. We were discussing how credit works and things of the sort. I reach out to her often and especially when I'm feeling drained and lost. I met her when I was 7 and she's never left my side since. She's the reason I had any kind of good child hood. She's spent thousands of dollars on me and my family. Some as loans to my auntie but most as adventures. She even took me in when I was 15 to finish high school. She gave me and my sister allowance every week, always took me to get my nails done, I always had a new hair style every week, she paid for our tutoring, anything we needed and wanted. We somewhat parted ways because I got pregnant while living with her. It was like a slap in the face because she tried to prevent the life that im living now and I was doing so good. It hurt her badly. She let me finish off the school year but eventually I got kicked out because she didn't know how to care/deal with newborns. Every day she looked at me she would shed tears and I wouldn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I never in life actually asked her for any money but In a crisis like this, that was about to change. For the very first time, I needed a loan from her. It took me a very long time to figure out how I was going to ask for $335 from her. Even though that's like 5 cents to her. I had to just tell her the truth. We spent a whole other night of the same routine before getting a response back. She agreed to giving me the loan! She paid the whole bill online the very moment she texted back. I was so relieved that I wasn't going to lose my house. Now paying her back was all that was on my mind. I wanted her to believe that im trustworthy. "I can give it back to you in a week." I told her. I decided to still give Allegiance staffing a try because apparently it's fast legit money. It was such good news I couldn't keep it to myself so I told my dad. I told him not to tell Jessey & Thomas because I wanted to stay so I can make it there by 6am. But eventually I told Jessey too. I could NOT hold such big news to myself. "Don't tell thomas though. Cause im going to the plasma center today and I don't want him to ask to borrow money because he knows I have it." I told her. I had my dad watch the girls while I dressed up and got pretty to go to the plasma center. I was excited to be able to see Terris as usual. My heart was racing just thinking about him. As im getting off the bus I felt alot of vibrating on my phone. I didn't think anything of it because my screen was on so I knew I was "pocket pressing" things. Finally I go to change the song playing in my head phones and Im at the login screen of messenger. "Oh shit I logged myself out of messenger" I thought. So I tap the option to login in manually and I see his facebook name in my suggested accounts. I was completely puzzled by what I was looking at. So I tapped his name and boom... His information was logged into my phone. Shocked was not the word. When me and Spazz were together I had complete access to his messenger through his phone because he let me. I helped him create his account because he wanted it but as far as knowing his password, I told him I didn't want it due to our past experiences with social media and if anything came up he couldn't blame me. I was never worried about it though because he was so open with it and I never seen anything funny or suspicious when I did go through his phone. But after the break up I always wonder what the fuck he was saying about me. Definitely lies. Who he was talking to.. Definitely wanda. I got over it all a long time ago but now that I have access to his messages I was concerned. First message I saw came from Ashely.