Unnecesary

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No matter what I do or what time I do it, I always seem to run into coco. I was back at the plasma center because with the money I had, I made sure my kids had a good Christmas. So now it's time to get the things the whole house needs. So I needed more money. On my way in, it was kind of crowded so I became irritated already. I stood in line for about 30 minutes and before having to get screened, I see coco. We locked eyes for a few seconds. I could only wonder what he was thinking but it couldn't have been anything too bad.. The nigga was smiling at me. I hate when he does that. I can't decide whether it's disrespectful or just weird. I can't wait for his punk ass to me court. I just mugged him and stuck up my middle finger and continued my business. Even though I was upset, couldn't help but to realize Terris was here working. I wasn't excited as usual. More embarrassed and nonchalant to see him. Why? Well... Not too long after I got butterflies from him, my so called crazy side kicked in. It ruined everything. Everything... I created a fake instagram to see if there was another side of him that he wasn't showing me or if he acts this way with all the girls. I got a negative result. He was willing to meet up at night with a girl that hadn't know for a full few hours and I made it very clear what "I" when we met up and he agreed to it. Red flag #1. I got his phone number, the range of where he lives and other things. But "I" was a stranger. Red flag #2. Lastly I asked him, "where do you work?" He told "me"  St Vincent's hospital, he draws blood. He had no reason to lie. Red flag #3 I can't stand a guy who lies for no reason. But I entertained it to shake him up. I said "oh that's cool. My dad does something like that. He works in Arlington at octapharma. I'm supposed to start working there next week." He couldn't continue the lie if "I" was going to be working there in just a few days. But he did. "Those my people! Who's yo dad" he replied. I didn't expect him to get so specific. I didn't know any of the men names. I had a clue of the oldest guy's name. "Leroy" I replied. He stopped responding to the page after that. I knew I fucked up. Come to find his name was actually Leon. It was alot weight on my shoulders that I tricked him like that. Because even though I found multiple red flags, he never did anything wrong. When I seen him, it was always only good vibes and honesty. We laughed, we flirted, he even used to sing to me showing off his talent and gave me butterflies every time I seen him. So I came clean to him. I told him that the fake page was me and that I just wanted to see what kind of guy he is aside of what he was presenting to me. What caught me off guard was, he completely understood why I did it. It wasn't necessary but he understood. "Wait you're not mad?" I asked in shock. Not that I wanted him to be. "No you good. I don't get mad much." He showed me so much empathy so every time I seen him my pulse went up but I didn't get the butterflies anymore. More like a I need to throw up feeling. I was so disgusted of what I did. I smiled and spoke to him less. He smiled and spoke to me less as well. When he came to my chair to wrap my arm, I couldn't speak to him at all. I couldn't even look him in the eye. He didn't seem too happy to see me. "Don't be shy now" he said and smiled as he wrapped me up. "Im not shy" I said smirking. That was the last actual words we spoke to each other. Now we don't talk not one bit. No smiling. Some times we don't even acknowledge each other's presence. I still crushed on him, yet I caused these nonchalant feelings for the both of us. I ruined everything. So with me being irritated and coco pissing me off, It was almost like I hated to see terris today. I kept mugging him but by accident. My energy was horrible. This is the first time I realized my craziness in the midst of it. I swore to myself to never do anything like this again. Because what if he was the one? I completed my visit and had a long ride home. My bad day didn't stop here. "Daughter you had a piece of paper on your door" he yelled. After being smothered in love, I eased the girls off of me. "Where is it?" He passed it to me halfway open as if he was going to read it first but decided not to. Once again I got another notice for a noise complaint. Not too long after I moved in, I complained on myself before anyone could. I wasn't satisfied with where we were living though it was beautiful. I asked to be moved because I was paranoid with how thin the walls were and how hollow the floors are. My babies cant help but to run when they're trying to walk. They can't simply roll a toy car on the ground without me being paranoid that the downstairs neighbor would here it and complain. I had sex one time here and god forbid they heard all of it. Basically I tried to keep quiet as possible not to mention the girls were always in daycare while im out and about. So how much noise could we really be making? She denied my request every time because apparently paranoia isn't a good enough reason to be transferred and I get that to an extent. Each time I complained on myself she assured me that I haven't been receiving any complaints from anyone. So after I stopped complaining on myself with the paranoia, I started to have more and more letters on my door. She stated that they weren't even from my downstairs neighbor but from my side neighbor. I was completely baffled. This is the same woman who's kids run through the hall playing and screaming. The same woman who she and her boyfriend who isn't supposed to be there, fight all day and night. "Fuck nigga!" She'd yell down the hallway. "Bitch open the door!" He'd yell at her bamming on her door at 2am. This was almost everyday. Yet I never complained on her. So I was shocked that she complained on me so much when we were barely home. The notice stated that if she complained on me one more time I'd be placed on a 12 month probation. So if I get one last complain within those 12 months I would surely be terminated.
The next morning I went to the office. I asked once again to be transferred because of the paranoia we have to live with, the complaints and now because I could potentially be terminated. She again denied my request. I stressed the fact that if I could potentially be evicted then that's a good enough reason to move? I started to think the neighbor complained out of spite thinking I complained on her. I've never had any sort of noise complaint from anyone anywhere. So this was new and spiteful to me. I wrote a letter to JHA instead of my landlord to have me transfered. She told me it was a slim chance that I would be transferred. Until then to keep as quiet as possible and no less than 3 days later, I received yet another noise complaint on my door.

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