Life Ran Into Me

The start of attachment

It's just one day until Spazz leaves back to Miami. I didn't want him to go but he seemed so ready because that's all he could talk about was going back. It was hard for me to believe he was actually sleeping on the side of a church if he was so ready to go back. Red had called us early the day before her Thanksgiving party telling us to be ready because we're going to stay over so we can be there on time Thanksgiving day and help if she needed it. She always throw parties, get togethers and kick backs for all the holidays. "Okay we'll bring 4 cases of soda" I said laying in Spazz's lap as we're on the couch chilling. We knew we were going to her house that night but we wasted the whole day caked up and chilling with the girls. We never went to the store or got ready. By the time night time came Red had called us and told us that Patience would be picking us up in less than 2 hours. She's another one of Randy's sisters who now lives in Haiti and was just visiting for the party. I spoke to her a few times. We started off on a bad note after I exposed Spazz's penis on facebook for doung me dirty but eventually we hashed it out and stayed on the phone for an hour or two talking about everything. She was cool as fuck in my agenda. Nothing more nothing less. "Randy we have to go get the sodas now we cant show up empty handed!" I said freaking out. Harvey's was almost 2 miles away and we had no option to walk. "Man right now? Its too late" he said sitting on the couch. I got the girls ready and put them in their stroller. "Fine ill go by myself" I said as I rolled my eyes and walked out the door. I was walking extremely fast because I didn't want patience to pull up before I got back home with the sodas. On my way out of the entrance I turn around to see Spazz runnung to catch up to me. "Damn girl you just walked out the door and you already out the apartments" he said laughing. I felt good that he gave me what I wanted. I knew he also didn't want to be outside because cold air fucks up his allergies. He has allergies severely. But I didn't want to walk by myself at night so I blocked that out. We had a bunch of funny moments and conversations as we walked to Harvey's. Surprisingly we made it there in about 20 minutes if not earlier. We were in and out of the store quickly but my legs felt dead. We were walking faster than I ever have. While we were at checkout Red called again and let Randy know they were going to have a big session. Randy didn't want to miss that for nothing in the world so the walk home was even quicker. It was a walk for him but a run for me. He grabbed the girls stroller and pushed the because he knew if I pushed them we wouldn't have made it home as fast. He's damn near 6'0 so he has very long legs so that and a mixture of walking his fastest were not looking good for me. I ran the whole way home and if I wasn't running, I was jogging and if I wasn't jogging. I only got a break to speed walk twice. We made it home in about 10 minutes. "Ima tell everybody you tried to kill me dannit so you can be in the session" I said catching my breath. Even he was out of breath, he pushed his self too. "That was a good workout shidd" he said laughing. "Hell yeah" I responded thinking in my head never again. It wasn't even 5 minutes that we were in the house when Red called us again to let us know Patience was outside. Spazz was dressed and ready to go. He'd been dressed all day. Me on the other hand had on casual clothes as well as my babies. I didn't expect her to show up so soon. "Spazz im not even ready" I whined. "Just come on you straight" he said as he picked up April and started walking to the car. I grabbed a handful of diapers, a pack of wipes, their cups and my charger and stuffed it in my purse. I picked praise up and rushed out the door. As we got in the car Randy and I was in the back seat while Patience and Swift(Spazz older brother who convinced him to be with Ashely before he knew anything abiut me or her) was in the front seat. I didn't speak. Not intentionally, I just didn't know what to say. Im a shy person. "Hey TT babies" she said as she turned around smiling at them. "Which one is which?" She asked trying to make April smile. April mean mugs everyone she doesn't know. Hell she mugs the people she do know. Even me sometimes. She's done it since she was born. "This one is April and this one is Praise" I said pointing them out. "Oh my god im not going to be to tell the difference they look exactly alike" she said turning around in her seat to put her seat belt on. "April hair is silky and curly and Praise hair is thick and rough" I added to help her get familiar with the differences. "Oh okay. Randy April look like you when you were a baby she up there giving me that mean look on her face" she said as she laughed. Randy laughed too "Hell yeah that's daddy baby" he said as he gave her a liss on the forehead. I started to stroke Praise's hair. And hug her tighter.  He never really seemed to brag much about  Praise unless someone was talking about how much of a tomboy she is and that she has a temper like his. It was obvious that April is his favorite one but I wasn't bothered. And besides Patience was talking about April anyway. They arrived at a liquor store I waitied in the car with the babies while Spazz, Patience and Swift went inside. I felt so awkward. As bad as I wanted to it was hard to feel like apart of their family. I just wanted to go back home. They got back inside with a bottle. "Did they eat?" Patience asked as she was pulking into Wendy's. "No" I said. My voice was so soft everyone would always have to ask me multiple times what I said if I was even heard. Spazz heard me. He's used to my soft voice. He looked at me laughed a little because he know I was unheard. "Nah they ain't eat" he said showing off his based voice. I thought that was a little funny so I cracked a grin at him. She got them both some chicken nuggets and fries and headed off to Red's house. Once we got there it felt so welcoming. They were happy to see April and Praise and I was happy to see everyone. Everyone gave me a hug as usual as we settled in. It was only a matter of time before we got to smoking and drinking. Times like this I'll hit the blunt once or twice. I was already drunk from drinking so much so when the blunt was passed to me I accidentally held it. I was too drunk to remember to let it go. It tickled my throat as the remaining smoke came from out my lungs. I wanted to cough so bad but I didn't want to look like a lil bitch so I held it in just sitting there damn near choking to death looking like everything was normal. It also gives me a headache and paranoid to cough. I was going to tap out but I only had hit it one time so I knew I had to hit it again. This time it damn near took me out. I hit the blunt and it hit me back. My throat was burning I physically felt the smoke in my body and everything began to echo. I couldn't even hear myself. The only thing I could hear was my heart beating really fast. My eyes began close without my permission and I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I zoned out. Luckily I wasn't apart of the conversation, I was just there, because I wouldn't have heard a word anybody said to me. I had to cough again. I knew that meant my high wasn't done rising. I hated my mind being altered from weed. I felt like I was in another demention. I started rubbing my chest lowkey trying to feel my heart just to make sure It was still beating or that it wasn't beating too fast. I knew the longer I paid attention to my heart, the more I would start to panic and eventually call 911 to save my life. "This is why you don't fucking smoke Lena" I thought to myself. Atleast I think I thought it. I was too high to know. I probably said that out loud. The jay was headed back my way. Someone was passing it to Red and I knew after that I was next. Hell nah I gotta get out of here before she pass it to me. Im too young to die. "I'm about to go check on the babies I said to Spazz as I rubbed his thigh and got up. I never came back out I was on the couch knocked out. The babies were in the living room playing with toys with the rest of their cousins. I laid down and fell asleep without knowing I fell asleep until April climbed on me playing with my face. Spazz was sitting right next to me. "You good?" He said laughing. I was so embarrassed. Everybody probably knew I couldn't handle smoking. I had only hit it twice and couldn't take no more. I don't know if I was still high but I was definitely still very drunk. I woke up feeling the same way I did when I dozed off. I didn't even know how long I was sleeping. I couldnt completely get up my energy I zoned back out. Spazz plopped down on the couch with his hand around me with a bowl of a few peaces of mini drum sticks. April and Praise were knocked out in a play pin fixed right next to the couch I slept on. It was a 2 piece black leather sectional couch. I could barely eat the chicken I was so fucked up. I remeber eating 2 pieces before I zoned back out. They were so good I knew we fucked them up. Spazz help me get comfortable. He got me a pillow and a blanket and tucked it for me and got on the other side of the sectional and we both went straight to sleep.
Thank God we went to sleep and didn't stay up early in the am like old times because we would have been completely exhausted. Every single child and baby was up at the ass crack of dawn and we were right behind them. Its Thanksgiving day and everyone is in a great mood. That drunk sleep was the best I felt so energized like I was sleeping for years. We got the day started and it was going great until I realized how horrible me and my babies looked compared to everyone else. Spazz looked great. Everybody had on a nice Thanksgiving outfit except us because we didn't have time tobpack any changing clothes. Patience noticed that so she went to walmart and got me a cute shirt to match the Thanksgiving vibes and the babies a cute outfit along with shoes. I felt shitty because I looked needed and I wasn't. Just unprepared. The later the night got the more we started to have fun and the drunker I got. I always tend to drink too much. I was functioning well but only because I was around their entire family. People I've never seen before. I was personally introduced to everybody. Maybe I drunk so much because I always feel out of place and want something to open me open. I never really open up still. The babies ate while me and Spazz enjoyed ourselves before we had to leave. We didn't eat at all and there was plenty of food so when it was time to leave Red said "Yall fix a plate, take some food." In that moment is when I realized we didn't eat. How do you not eat on Thanksgiving? Spazz was getting the girls ready and putting in the car while I fixed our plates. Well, plate. I only made one because I wasnt thinking. "What does this man eat?" I was puzzled looking at all of the food. I didn't know what he wanted so I got a little bit of everything I saw and stuffed it on one plate. Even the desert. It was a mess. I quickly wrapped it up in aluminum foil and headed to the car damn near about to fall from no balance. It felt like we made it home in 2 minutes. I wasn't even drinking anymore yet I still felt like I was getting drunker. Once we got in Spazz was ready to eat. He opened up the plate and it looked liked matted throw up with a piece of chicken on the side. He looked at me "damn Lena you done fucked the food up!" He busted out laughing. "I know! I know! Im sorry! I just threw everything together" I said laughing even harder. That was the last thing I remeber before I woke up on the floor around 2am in my living room with the light on. I was laying right next to the couch. I hate when I black out like that. I thought I was sober for the most part but still felt a little drunk with a headache. I walked upstairs to get in the bed where I seen Spazz with all of his stuff ready to go and the girls tucked letting out their baby snores. I had forgot he was only staying until Thanksgiving. His bus ride back to Miami would depart at 5:30am so he had to leave at 4:45am. I was hoping that he got so drunk at Red house that he would over sleep and miss his bus. I didn't want him to go that was the longest we ever stayed in the same house. "Why you left me down there?" I asked him. "You told me you wanted to stay downstairs because the couch was comfortable. "He said refreshing my memory. "Damn. That means I must've fell off the couch and didnt wake up because Ibwas damn sure on the floor." I said as we laughed together for the last time. I wanted to stay up with him and spend the last few moments with him but I couldn't fight my sleep. I drifted off. "Lock the door behind me" he said waking me up. He gave the babies a kiss on their cheeks and tucked them a little tighter then put his pack back on. "I gotta go ma" he said before he gave me what felt like the sweetest kiss. We walked downstairs and I gave him the longest hug as I dug myself into his jacket and took a deep breath to get one last good smell of his cologne. His body was so warm and it was so cold outside. It was still dark. I didn't want to let him go. I watched him walk off into the dark not knowing when I was going to see him again. I felt like a piece of my heart was walked away with him.