Life Ran Into Me

Mommy messed up

The next day after finding out my lights were back on Jessey told thomas about it even though I asked her not to. That resulted in him "wanting his house back" so we had to leave. I truly wanted to stay for a week so I could be closer to the temp agency she refered me to so I could make some money to pay Ms Cindy back like I promised. Thomas was aggravated with us, and it was hella uncomfortable for us anyway so I just sucked it up and went home hoping I could make it to Allegiance staffing on time. Trip by trip I started to move all of out things back into my house. I had to be at Allegiance staffing by 6am to sign up to work the next day and the girls daycare didn't open until 6:30am so I had to take them with me therefore we needed to stay the night at Jessey's house one more time.  My dad was no where to be found at the moment. We had to be up at 4am to be out of the hiuse by 5am to be there at 6am. It was about 4:30am when we woke up because the girls refused to sleep before 10pm so it sent me into a panic that I wouldn't be there by 6am. So I rushed. I scurried to get them dressed and to get myself together. We headed out the house speed walking for me and jogging for them because I didn't want us to miss the bus. They were still so sleepy but forcing themselves to wake up while jogging. It was pitch black outside and extremely quiet. Finally we made it to the bus stop with no bus in sight. I didn't realize how cold it was until we stopped moving. I didn't even bring their jackets because I had no idea it would be cold. Their teeth was shaking, and goose bumps were easily seen. They were shivering and still trying to fully wake up. I felt horrible. I was also paranoid because of how empty the streets were. If anything were to happen to us, no one would even know. I gave them my cardigan and made them hug as I wrapped it around them so they could be a little warm. I'm anemic so I felt like I was going to die. I could not take it.   It was no time to go back home though because the bus appeared and I needed to start working as soon as possible. I couldn't miss the opportunity. Once we got on the bus I literally felt myself thaw. It was so warm the heater was all the way up. My babies fell right back asleep on each other as they got comfortable. We got downtown in a matter of about 10 mins so we could get on another bus that would drop us off in front of the Temp agency. The cold shocked them. They went back to shivering. My cardigan was so thin that It really did nothing for them. It was unfortunate because we were waiting on the bus for about 45 minutes. I couldn't stop staring at them. Their noses were running as they kept sniffing. "Im so sorry" I kept telling them. My heart was so broken that I had them out there like that all because I needed a stupid job badly. I didn't know it was going to be like that. I wiped there nose with my hand constantly and slung the snot on the ground and wiped the remainder on my dress. "The bus almost here okay pretty girls" I said sqauting down  to talk to them. "Okay" they said at the same time. They barely could get the word out. I hugged them in so much guilt and shame. I felt like the worst mother on the planet. I knew they would be sick soon. Because of me. An old man reached in his back pack and pulled out a home made quilt. "It's my grandbabies blanket she about there age" he said slowly walking over to them and put it on them. Usually I would've said no thank you to something like that but how could I? Why would I? Besides he looked clean and well groomed just like us. About 15 minutes past after receiving the blanket, the bus finally pulled up. It was extremely crowded. We found two seat and snuggled together as the heater thawed us out again. I angered me this time knowing they were going to have to go right back out into the cold. They stayed awake this time. We made it there on time, 6am. It was awkward that I had them with me at a place like that but again I had no choice. I signed the application while they watched baby shark on my phone and waited 30 minutes for a response. "Okay I know I don't have to say it but no kids, tomorrow no open toe shoes and no dresses. You will meet here every morning 6am sharp it is important that you are here on time and ready to work, see ya tomorrow" he said as he sent me on my way. "Mommy I wanna eat eat" praise said shivering while we approached the corner across the street. "Go ahead grab what you want" the both walked in different directions staring at everything as if they were about to make the most important decision of their whole 3 years of life. They both handed me a bag of chips and a some candy. "Okay but do you want a bananas too?" I asked them laughing. "No I want shucks" April said. That's her way of saying chips. I bought their snacks as we headed back outside waiting for the bus once again... We waited about another hour. They didn't look so miserable this time because they had snacks but I was. I was about to lose my shits because I was so cold. They seemed fine and happy but their bodies begged to differ. Their nose was running and their bodies were shivering again. I knew sever colds were ahead of us.