Life Ran Into Me

Welcome To The World

I was riding in the ambulance more upset than neverous because I wasn't ready to have my babies yet. I felt fine. I didn't feel any contractions. I didnt even know exactly how contractions were supposed to feel. And Jessey wasn't allowed to ride with me so I felt alone. Once arriving to the hospital I was pushed into my room. Along the way up is when I became nervous. The doctor started to examine me. She put two fingers in my vagina and moved them around. This was the most uncomfortable thing ever and it hurt like hell I felt like she was putting a stick up there. She told me I was 3cm dilated but again I did not research anything about pregnancy so I had no idea what that meant. Once the doctor left the room I called shon. "Hey I don't know but I think im about to have the babies. They have me in this room and setting up my c section." I said casually as if it weren't a big deal. "Damn fr? Im on my way." It was a matter of less than 15 minutes Shon walked in the room. He was smiling and I was so embarrassed. I liked to look good for him but I looked a complete mess. He took a seat in the chair while we talked about everything. I get the urge that I have to pee so I get up to go to the bathroom and it flowed like normal. As soon as I began to wipe my self its like I peed all over again but this time effortlessly. "SHON!! JA'SHON!! I think my water broke!" I screamed. I was freaking out. I swung the door open and seen that he was starting to panic too. Je pressed the button to call for a nurse and they came right away. They helped me back in the bed and said that I was ready for my c-section. Hearing those words made my heart race through the roof. I became so scared I couldn't stop shaking. Shon started to come on the side of me but the doctors said that he wasn't allowed yet. "He's not allowed!? No I need him to come with me'" I yelled. I did not want to go alone. "Mam it's okay he just has to change and we'll give you an epidural and then he will be with you."  The nurse said calmly. When I got into the surgery room the sat me on a table and said that its very important that I don't move or they could misplace the needle and I could be paralyzed. She then pulled out the longest needle ive ever seen and stuck it in my back. I wanted to slap every doctor in the room it hurt so bad but I didn't move so I thought mission accomplished. "Great job, but remain very still" she said. I thought it was so the medicine could kick in or something. Next thing I know she stuck another needle in my back. Only this time I didn't feel it as much. Barely at all. "Okay you're all set" she said as she left the room. Anither doctor gave me a cup of what looked like grape juice to drink but it tasted like watery syrup. It was disgusting but i forced myself to drink it. The layed me down back on the bed and set up a sheet over me so that I couldn't see while they performed the procedure. As soon as I turned to the left I seen shon sitting right next to me. All the fear I was feeling went away. I wasn't nervous anymore either. He smiled and held my hand. Here I go falling more in love with him. But I ruined the moment because I started throwing up. The doctors knew I would because they had a bucket and wipes ready for me. I guess it was to clean out my stomach before slicing me open. I don't know. But after I threw up, it was go time. They started to cut me open. I didn't feel a thing but shon said he could see them doing it a little bit. I became extremely quiet as he continued to hold my hand. Staring at the ceiling tears began to run down my face. "What's wrong?" He asked so concerned. "How could he do this to me? He's not even here." I said. I felt so much resentment. "Don't even worry bout that im here and your babies are about to be here." Him saying that gave me an epiphany that Spazz not being there wasn't what mattered. I heard the first cry of my very own baby. I've been waiting so long for this it felt so unreal. Even more tears began to fall down my face like a water fossit. They took her to get cleaned. When they held April to my face to kiss her cheek I couldn't believe my life. I have my own babies. I then heard another cry. Even louder than the first one. My heart was about to burst out of my chest at this point. Shon's too. I could see it all over his face. After cleaning her they held Praise to my face so I could kiss her cheek. I forgot all the negativity in my life. Nothing else exsisted but them. My life instantly felt complete. As I was being pushed back to my room my heart lit up even more. It was my sister Jessey. This is really the best day of my life. I never felt so much love at once.

She apologized for not being able to make it sooner because she didnt have a way to the hospital, she had to walk. While talking to her she started to get concerned if I was okay. "Yeah im okay why?" I asked. "You're shaking alot" she said. I didn't even realize it but I was shaking like a stripper. Jessey grabbed the first nurse's attention that she saw in sight. "Is my sister okay? She's shaking uncontrollably." They informed her that it was just the side effects of the epidural wearing off. I still couldn't move anything below my stomach. She and shon took many pictures of the babies thank god because I didn't have my phone let alone could not take my focus off of April and Praise. Once making it back to the room Jessey stayed a while before having to leave and Shon informed me that he would come back. He had to grab some things from his home so he could stay the night with me and that he did. I loved his company. He could not put the girls down, he just had to hold them. The girl wouldn't latch on to get breastfed as well as the fact I produced very little milk. So they had to drink breast milk the hospital provided. I was scared to have them drink formula. Later that night I got up to see if I could walk and I could. It was the worst feeling ever. It felt as if all of my newly stiched organs were going to tesr apart and fall out. I didn't even know until I stood up that I had a band wrapped tightly around my stomach. The patch had a bunch of blood at the bottom of it. I coughed and it felt like I got shot. It was a buring and painful sensation that didnt go away until about 5 minutes later. "Okay no coughing or sneezing for the next 6 months" I thought to myself. Shon approached the girls with me to once again adore them and put them into their new clothes. His mom helped me get them everything I had for them aside of two carseats that was given to me by my sisters.  As soon as we put on her onezie April took her first poop. We laughed because it was so cute. He wanted to be the first to change her diaper and I was okay with that. As the days passed my family memebers came to visit me. All except my auntie and stacie. I didn't want them there at all, I was still angry with them and they knew that. Jashon was no longer able to stay the night with me but he visted me every night he got off work. Jessey started to stay the night and helped me with the babies.

The 3 days were up and I had to leave the hospital. Javon and Ms Nadia (Shon's brother and mom) helped me get home. The whether was freezing at, it was fall. We could see our breath in the air with every word we said. They helped me get in and out of the car and into Shanta's house quickly. I thanked them for being such a huge support to me as they left. As soon as I get there I hear snipe say "Those babies shouldn't be in the night air." I becane aggravated instantly. I wanted to go back to the hospital. My sisters spent time with my babies before we all went off to sleep. The had 2 couches in their house at that point. One huge couch that wrapped around the living room and a second flat couch in the second part of the living room. Being that my incision(c-section wound) hurt tremendously whenever I wasn't sitting up straight I slept in the reclining chair. It was perfect, felt just like the hospital. I was able to do this for two days until snipe informed me that he no longer wanted me to sleep in the reclining chair. He said he didnt want it to get worn out. The only other option I had was the flat couch. I could sit up and sleep on that couch. It didnt even have a back cushion to do so. I tried explaining that to him but he wasn't hearing it. He just didnt want me to sleep on in the chair. I tried to make it work but it just wouldn't. I would sit up all night on my phone because I wasn't able to lay down. The girls wouldn't sleep on their own for long so I had to be up every time I got the slightest bit of sleep. I would feel like a zombie in the morning and back to being very depressed and stressed.