Life Ran Into Me

Cut off

After hearing the voicemail my mom sent my sister, I felt so much anger. She had me fucked up. The simple fact that she spent $50 in stamps and got money from me that I couldn't even keep track anymore pissed me off when she said "I don't have no more money for her. I can't keep giving her my bill money" It was pretty clear that much more than $60 was owed to me not just given. The lies were one thing but abandoning me and telling my sister to take care of it was another. I'm not a child nor looking for someone to take care of me. For once in my adult life I let the hatred go and put my guard down and this was the results. She no longer visited or even called to check on us or say hello. She just disappeared when things were rough. Failing me as a kid and growing up was something I let go of but failing me while I'm an adult, I don't think I could let that fly. I am a mother of two and have very much experienced the hardships of life and parenting and abandoning my kids in a tough time will never sit right with me. So I gathered all my anger and put it into a box and tried to call her once last time for understanding. "Hey I heard the voicemail you sent Jessey and I just don't get where you coming from or why you would say that stuff to her about me-" she quickly interrupted me and spoke aggressively "I am too busy for all of this, I don't have time to be going back and forth with nobody about nothing." She said. "Okay but you keep telling all these lies about me to everybody, for what?" I asked. I waited for a reply but didn't hear anything. She had already hung up. That was it for me. I decided this was going to be my last time dealing with her. Ever. I texted her "Do not ever call me again for anything." I kept it very short, direct and simple. And I meant it.
*Fast forward about a week*
I had got unexpected news that my babies were eligible to go to a daycare just across the street from us through a program that I thought was canceled due to us moving. I still was jobless but my only option was to put them in daycare now or go back on the waiting list which could take from 6m-1yr. I didn't know how I was going to pay for it but that would be way too long to risk so I did it. I put them in daycare and they loved it. This caused me to fill out job applications from left to right all day everyday knowing that I now have childcare again. I felt so much relief and like God was finally letting me get back on track but I still had to battle the fact that the due date for my lights were just around the corner. I tried to put as much money on my lights as I could but it still wasn't enough. I had 2 days until they would be disconnected and that scared me so much. I spent every hour of the day worrying and thinking about how I could get money quickly. I went to many places to try to get a loan but none would do it because I couldn't show proof that I would pay them back. I found a note on my door stating that we had a important inspection coming again but this time not from the landlord but from the actual property owners so anything that wasn't reported that could cause me to fail the inspection would qualify me for termination and my lights being off during inspection was definitely one of them. NOW at this point my mom would have been telling the truth that I will potentially be getting evicted. The day that my lights were due was the day set to have my house inspected. I was thankful that my house was the first few on the list so when they came, my lights would still be on and I wouldn't be in jeopardy of losing my apartment. So the day came. Early in the morning around 7am I got the girls ready for school so I could run errands all day to avoid facing the inspectors. When I came back, I didn't see a note or anything and my lights were still on so I thought everything was okay. I was still stressed but at least It bought me more time to get my light bill money up. I sent the girls off to day care once again so I could run errands and when I got back I noticed something about my apartment was off. My windows were closed but I left them open, my doors were open but I left them shut. "Somebody was in my shit" I thought to myself. I quickly went to grab my knife from off the shelf as I walked toward thw front of my house with caution. The coast was clear though. I felt silly. I seen that there was a note on my kitchen counter. "So somebody was in here" I thought as I squinted. The note stated that my apartment was inspected today and they have found that there was no electricity in my unit. I stopped reading and flicked on and off the lights several times. I was in so much shock that I was still unconvinced. "Maybe this light bulb blew out. I started flicking the lights for my living room and still no electricity. It pissed me off. I was so disappointed with myself that I let this happen. I continued to read the paper stating that I was in violation of my lease and that I had 7 days to get the lights turned back on or by the 10th day, all of my things would be put out of my unit if I haven't already done so. Where the hell am I gonna get $340 from in 7 days with no job?