Life Ran Into Me

Just suck it up and move on

We both kept the weeks pushing as if nothing happened. We didn't mention Valentine's day and we damn sure didn't mention him accidentally eating me on my period. We actually became closer than ever. It sucked that we got so close after that because I was no longer falling for him. Instead of seeing him as my lover and baby daddy I started to see him as a cool ass nigga that I shared kids with. He could give me the entire world on a golden plate and all the stars but no matter what he did my feelings wouldn't truly connect with him anymore at all. Not even for a second. Henry picked up his slack for my happiness. He always has. Movie nights, deep conversations, long walks, everything meant nothing no more but something told me to let him stick around because eventually he'll be useful and he was. Bills started to pile up on me and my landlord wasn't making anything better. My light bill was in the 300's closer to $400. My dad started babysitting my nephew so he started charging me to babysit, food was low and to top it off I received a notice saying that since I reported that I was working that my rent would go up to $400. It wasn't much for rent but it was for me considering the fact that my checks from my job weren't coming in. "Bae I don't know what im gonna do" I said as I sat in the bed with my hands in my lap. I looked at the floor shaking my head. I was truly scared that because of this new job I was going to crumble. It was causing me more trouble than when I didn't have a job. "I reported my job to dcf too. They cut my foodstamps amount more than half the amount I was supposed to get." I said. I wanted to cry. "Calm down bae. Ima look out. My check come in some time this week and ima get a money order and pay the rent. You pay the light bill and I'ma tell swift he gotta put some food in the house or he can't stay here no more. That's my bro I love em to death but we struggling bae 'know what im sayin'" he said comforting me. I didn't want to kick his brother out for not helping because obviously he couldn't help much with no job but there was many legal ways he could help out the household in which he just didn't so I gave Randy the okay to give him that ultimatum.
*fast forward a month*
Swift and his son came in the house late at night with a few bags of groceries. A little bit of this a little bit of that. "Come help put this food up bruh" he said to Spazz. While we all unbagged the food and put everything where it belongs Spazz held out a box of dirty rice mix. "Bae can you make this tonight?" He said with the look of a kid who was asking their mom for permission of something that'll likely have the answer no. I was going to say no because it was really late but everybody was waiting on me to answer. Even my dad, the chef of the house. "Yeah but yall gotta hurry up and finish putting this stuff up so I can start, its late" I said shaking the mix beginning to prep what I needed to cook with. "Okay and make the green koolaid too" he added. Everybody stayed up late enough to eat it. "That shit was so good bae" spazz said laying on the bed with a pot belly. He was skinny but I always tried to make him gain some weight so I made him huge dinners every time I fixed him something to eat. He ate like a king. With a huge cup of whatever drink of his choice which was the green koolaid. I was happy swift finally contributed to the house.
*a week later*
The bills were all due. I spent my whole check on them. Only bill that wasn't paid was the $400 for rent that Spazz said he'll pay for. I went to the office to inform her that I would pay it but that it would be a few days late. Spazz liked to do things on his own time. "That isn't your required payment Ms Stevens. That was just an estimate. We determined your new rate to be $0.00" she said holding out a paper for me to sign. I was completely confused. "I don't understand." I admited. "Well since you weren't working for over a year and didn't file your taxes last year, you're elgible for our *** (I forgot the name) program. It means for the next three years no matter how many jobs you have or how much money you make your rent will still be $0.00 under JHA housing and you will still receive a utility check." She explained to me. I could not believe it. That was like music to my ears. "No matter what I dont have to pay rent for 3 years?" I repeated her just to make sure I heard what she said correctly and I did. I signed the paper with pleasure and was ready to go home and tell Spazz the good news. When he heard he felt so much relief too. "God damn Lena! You lying" he laughed in disbelief. "No foreal. You can go get the refund for the money order right now" I said to prove I was telling the truth. I had took the day off because I was already extremely late from staying up all night. "I'll get the refund tomorrow we can leave at the same time." he said. "I don't think you'll have time. My sister gave a word for you at her job, she got you a interview tomorrow and its only a 10 minute walk from downtown" I explained trying to make it seem much better explaining how close it was. "I'll go to the interview and then I'll go refund it" he said.
*The next day*
"Hurry up bae" I rushed him to get ready after taking so long to get ready myself. He usually gets ready quickly but he has his days where he takes as long as a girl. I already knew he spent moat of his time in the bathroom giving his facial hair the perfect line up hair by hair. "I have to go to work so im bout to leave" I said trying to make him speed up. "Alright bae im coming im done" he said damn near running down the stairs. We walked to the bus stop as we talked about the important things we needed to get done while he has the $400 in hand. Every time I said the amount he looked away so I caught on. "Let me see the money order" I demanded with my hand out for it. He sighed and puffed as he patted both of his pockets to see which one the paper was in. He reached deep down in them and pulled out a small folded slightly crumbled paper. I was so upset to see that the money order was only for $121. "So you telling me if I depended on you to to pay for the very place the girls lay their head at we would've been getting evicted cause all you saved from your whole check was a shitty ass $121?!" I snapped. I knew his plug didn't "hook him up" like he said. He bought a zip of weed, some sneakers and a jordan bookbag. "Man you really ungrateful as fuck a nigga a really trying to help you cause yo job aint paying you shit and you mad because I couldn't afford the whole thing. How much of it you paying?" He yelled back at me. "Nigga I got paid! I paid all the bills except the rent because you said you sould! Luckily I don't have to pay it because depending on you we would've been fucked up." I said rolling my eyes when I was done. He didn't respond he got on the phone with publix. "Goodmorning do yall do refunds for money orders?" He waited with as serious face. I knew he was getting mad the more the lady talked because his face got tighter.  "Man what the fuck" he said pasting slowly putting his hands back in his pockets. "What?" I tired to ask nicely concerned but the attitude was still stuck in my tone. "The bitch said I can't refund a money order until a month later" he said looking furiously at me. I didn't respond I just smacked my teeth and looked down the street for the bus. "Man why you aint go to office earlier to find this shit out before I even made the damn money order" he snapped on me once again breaking the silence. "So what its my fault? You seen the notice and when it said the rent was due. I didn't tell you to make the money order so damn early let alone you don't even have all of it so I don't even know why you mad.. You always blame me for everything you can never take responsibility for nothing" I said keeping my calm. He gave up arguing with me and started walking back home. "Where you going?!" I yelled because he was getting far. He walks pretty fast like most street guys do. The bus was finally arriving. "Randy where are you going, you have to go to your interview!" I yelled at him as he continued to speed off in anger. "Actin like a fuckin child" I said to myself a loud very upset. He finally had the chance to get back to work and he intentionally missed it because he was mad at me. There goes a whole opportunity out the window.