internet idiots

Podcast [chapter 8]

i posted this a week ago and it already hit 1k? thanks! um, yeah you can proceed to the actual chapter now...

"Y/n, what are 3 personal mottos that you live by?" Armin asked.

You were currently filming something with the squad for Armin's podcast. Many questions had been asked, some for the whole group while other were for certain people. Armin's podcast always featured some of the people from the rather large friend group, or the whole group which was on very rare occasions. Most of the people were here, but you were missing your upperclassman; Hange, Moblit, Levi, and Erwin.

"One is 'I don't suffer from depression, I excel at it'. Then there's 'Chaos has no sides'. And my personal favorite, 'Waiting patiently to crush our hopes and dreams is the reality known to us as death,'" you answered while leaning back in you chair.

"You're a very interesting vessel," Armin commented while narrowing his eyes at you.

"Did you just call her a vessel?" Eren laughed.

"Thanks Armin. And before if you ask if I was dropped on the head as a baby. Yes I was, multiple times in fact. One time my dad dropped me down a whole flight of stairs," you informed.

"That explains A LOT," Marco commented.

"I'm wounded," you pouted while putting a hand over your heart.

"Stay pressed luv," Marco winked at you, using a British accent.

"Anyways, and this question is for everyone," Armin clarified, "What's your most embarrassing memory from high school?"

"Me first!" Sasha raised her hand, "So I think it was last period and like the day was going perfect. And then I sneezed, and red painted the lower half of my body. Might I add that I was wearing lighter colored jeans?"

"My worst nightmare," you shuddered at the thought. It hadn't happened to you yet, but you had heard several stories like the one Sasha told.

"Uh," Connie said out loud in thought, "Oh! One time fell into a puddle of dirty water and I only had one minute until school started so I didn't have time to go home and change. Basically, I had to walk around school the whole day feeling really dirty."

"I was called out for farting in class," Jean said simply.

"I was the one who called him out," Sasha smirked while raising her hand.

"I wore my hair in a side part for a week just to switch things up," Mikasa admitted, visibly cringing as she remembered the incident.

"I got dumped in front of a crowd," Eren said, "But funny thing is, they want to get back together with me now after seeing the massive glow up I got and seeing my social media following. Must suck to know I moved on," he shrugged it off.

"I didn't really do anything embarrassing in high school," Annie murmured, "I forgot to turn in my homework once, if that counts."

"Weak! I got suspended in front of my whole school for making a flamethrower and using it to threaten some kids during a pep rally," you piped up.

"Oh my gosh, those poor kids," Armin sweat dropped, a look of horror on his face as he imagined that scene.

"They deserved it," you waved him off, "They bullied a kid into giving them money."

"You had the right intentions, but the wrong idea," Eren pat your back.

"I got called out for not paying attention in class, but this happened several times," Marco said.

"I told people I was straight," Ymir laughed, "But look at me now, a full blown lesbian."

"I came to class late because I set my alarms up wrong," Historia said.

"I know I'm supposed to be the one asking questions, but I kinda wanna answer," Armin said as he cleared his throat, "When I was a freshman I was really scary. Like I was into gory things and what not, and I still am I just don't act as creepy. Anyways I was performing a ritual on an Oikawa plushie and somebody walked in one me doing it."

"That sounds dope," you chuckled.

"Don't get me wrong, I finished the ritual, but the person just stood there awkwardly watching," Armin laughed along.

"You were definitely among the more, how do I put it, unique kids," Mikasa stated.

"That's for sure," Eren nodded his head in agreement.

"Being unique is better than being basic," Armin shrugged, "Next question! This one's for all the non-straights. How did you figure out your sexuality."

"I don't know," Ymir shrugged, "I just woke up one day and realized I was lesbian."

"That was so helpful," Armin said sarcastically.

"I guess because I've never been attracted to any girls," Marco said with his brows furrowed and his head tilted to the side in slight confusion.

"I thought, 'Damn all the ladies are hot, but so are all the boys. Might as well have both'," Mikasa answered.

"I said fuck it. I'll fuck a girl or a guy," you responded.

"I think Marco was my gay awakening, but I honestly don't see myself with any other guy. So it's like exclusively to him?" Jean answered, seeming confused by his own reply.

"I don't even know my own sexuality. Just do you I guess," Sasha said.

"That's a question I don't have an answer to," Historia mumbled.

"A lot of mixed answers, all of which are valid," Armin hummed.

"You can just be like me and not label it," Annie shrugged.

"Another valid response," Armin said while pointing at the blonde. "Also, make sure to take your time! Ok, next one goes to Eren. What's your body count?"

"Give me a minute," Eren said as he started counting in his head. It stayed silent for a minute, everyone's eyes trained on Eren, waiting for the brunette's answer, "Like 23?"

"Damn, you almost beat me," you commented.

"What's your body count?" he asked while craning his head towards the side you were on.

"25," you answered.

"So I need to sleep with 2 more people to tie with you, and 3 to beat you..." Eren murmured.

"Don't even think about it," you glared at him, "I'm too competitive for this shit and I'm going to end up being the school's fuck boy... or fuck girl? Since I would just have to win."

"Next question!" Armin said, wanting to move along, "This goes to Connie. How do you manage to create new levels of stupidity everyday?"

"Oh shit," Eren laughed.

"Offended, but not surprised," Connie shook his head with a sigh.