internet idiots

Milfs [chapter 42]

"Let's go on a date," Eren said to you, closing the door to your room after having entered while holding a bag of goldfish, a snack you had asked for earlier but were too lazy to get up and retrieve the food.

"I'm down, but where do you wanna take me?" you asked, tossing your phone down on the bed beside you.

"How does dinner and a walk downtown sound?" Eren asked, throwing the bag of food at you as he stalked his way over to your bed.

"Depends, where are we going to eat?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at the brunette who had taken a seat next to you on your shared bed.

"McDonald's?" he suggested.

"Broke ass," you scoffed.

"Well where do you want to go?" Eren asked, grabbing your waist and pulling you over towards him and into his chest.

"No, I want McDonald's, I just think that you're broke," you hummed, opening the goldfish.

"I literally buy you all your clothes and food. How am I the broke one?" Eren retorted, sticking his hand in the goldfish and taking a handful out for himself.

You smacked his hand lightly, furrowing your brows with a small pout as you looked down at the food that had been stolen from you. Eren simply rolled his eyes, shoveling half of it into his mouth.

"Let's just go to McDonald's and then get slushees for 7/11," you huffed, taking a few goldfish out and putting some in your mouth.

"Mhm," Eren hummed, giving you a small peck on the cheek before getting up from the bed.

He checked the time, reading that it was almost 4 in the afternoon. He stretched his arms above his head, hearing a pop come from his back that made him let out a sigh.

"Be ready within the next hour. I'll be in the living room after I finish getting ready," Eren hummed before disappearing inside your closet.

"Yeah, yeah," you waved him off, picking up your phone and getting absorbed back into the world of technology.

Before you knew it, you were ten minutes away from the time Eren told you to meet him at. Where you dressed? No. You were still sitting in your pajamas, which consisted of a pair of shorts and one of Eren's shirts. You had closed the bag of goldfish 20 minutes prior to your current realization.

Looking down at yourself, you stumbled out of bed and into the closet. You threw together an outfit, trying your best to make it match with what little time you had to get dressed and do your hair. You stumbled around the room, discarding your clothes while running to the bathroom and grabbing deodorant along with your hairbrush.

The outfit of the day was a pair of navy jeans that had a huge rip on both sides, going from halfway of your shin up to a little ways about the middle of your thigh. They also had loose cuffs and actual pockets. You had thrown on fishnets under them, an off-white fallout boy t-shirt. Your shirt was tucked in, a black belt helping to hold up the pants that were a bit big on you. You decided to match that with black converse which would be downstairs at the door.

"This outfit does not scream straight, that's for sure," you sighed when looking at your reflection in the mirror, "...Good thing I'm not straight!"

You grabbed your brush, taking your hair out of the plats (for all people who don't know what that is, just messy braids) you had put them in the night prior. You looked in the mirror before finally deciding on what you wanted to do, starting on your hair after having a good idea. You part your hair down the middle, taking a small part from the front and center of the part on each side and braiding it.

"That should do," you let out an exhale, grabbing a black purse and throwing it over your shoulder, grabbing your phone and wallet off the dresser before leaving your room.

You ran down the stairs, making it quite obvious someone was going down. Though with how loud you were stomping, you could easily compare it to an elephant. You arrived at the bottom of the stairs, panting as you looked at the people who were chilling out in the kitchen or living room.

"I assume you got ready last minute," Eren cocked an eyebrow, looking up at you from his phone without moving his head.

"Never," you averted your eyes, making it obvious you were lying.

"Damn bitch! And after all this time I thought you'd be better with your time management!" Marco yelled out from the laundry room.

"Fuck you!" you yelled, "Never mind, your mom's a milf! I'll fuck her instead!"

Marco came running out of the laundry room, a basket of clothes in his hand, socks thrown over his shoulder as he slid against his floor with some fuzzy socks he was wearing. "Stop calling my mom a milf!"

"She gotta stop being one first in order for me to stop calling her one," you retorted, walking past him and making your way to the living room.

"Stop! It's weird," Marco screeched.

"If it makes you feel any better," Armin piped up, raising a hand as he inserted himself into the conversation, "Eren's mom is a milf too."

"Armin!" Eren hissed.

"That's my name," the blonde winked at his brunette friend, "Use it, don't abuse it."

"I've taught you well," you wiped a fake tear, both you and Armin chuckling when you made eye contact. "And is Eren's mom actually a milf?"

"Yeah," Mikasa nodded, pulling out her phone and scrolling through it for a bit before holding the device up so you could see.

"I think I'm no longer gay," Marco whistled, staring at the picture of her with semi-widened eyes.

"Holy shit!" your eyes widened, "Eren. I might have to leave you for your mom..."

"She's married," Eren deadpanned.

"Then I'll cause an affair, and then BOOM! I'm your step-mom," you smirked.

"No," Eren sweat dropped, a horrified expression making it's way onto his features.

"Well if she can't have her..." Marco trailed off, "Can I?"

"No! What part of married do you not get?!" Eren snapped, "Plus, you're dating horse face!"

"If I can't date your mom then what's the point in life?" you asked rhetorically, a pout taking over your features.

"Let's just go on our stupid date before I change my mind," Eren sneered, stomping over to the door.

You trailed behind him, skipping a little to keep a steady pace with him, "The date was your idea in the first place!"

"Shut up," Eren grumbled, grabbing his jacket while crouching down to put on his shoes.

You silently put on the pair of black converse that somehow managed to be shared with you and Annie, both of you being about the same in shoe size.

"Let's go," Eren grabbed your hand, opening the door and leading you out.

1. i have testing again today. wish me luck on that.

2. i think i'm going to skip updating tomorrow, there's something i need to get done.