internet idiots

Stairs [chapter 59]

"Thank you so much, Grisha," you said to the man on the other side of the phone. After your dispute with your biological dad, you were determined to not have to invite him to the wedding. And just like you had declared when you were at the step momster's house, you asked Grisha if he would walk you down the aisle.

Now Grisha had concerns of his own, asking questions as to why you wanted him to do it instead of your actual father. You explained the situation to him, leaving out a few minor details. And in the end, Grisha agreed to do it.

"No problem," he responded, "Now I need to get back to work. Have a great day y/n, bye."

"Bye bye," you said before hanging up the phone. A smile was spread across your face as you let out a content sigh, flopping down backwards on the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

You were currently alone in the bedroom you and Eren shared. You had snuck away from down stairs where everyone was playing some board game and yelling at each other, remembering that you had forgotten to call Grisha once you got back home midway through Historia and Armin having a screaming match.

You sat back up in the bed, sluggishly getting out of it and walking over to the door. You grabbed your nerf gun from off your desk before quietly opening the door. You wanted to launch a surprise attack on everyone. You made sure your gun was fully loaded with the foam bullets before making your way down the stairs.

You were cautious on the floor boards, making sure to tiptoe and step in the places you knew would not creak. You were getting to the last 6 steps when your foot slipped.

"Fuck!" you yelled before a whole bunch of thumping was heard and the next thing you knew, you were laying on your back. The hardwood floors were slightly uncomfortable against your back, your vision having small dots dance around as you stared up at the ceiling.

"You good!" you heard Aero yell, hearing a few different people's foot steps as they approached you.

"Ouch," you monotoned, masking any pain by biting your tongue.

Eren was the first person to come into your line of view, looking down at you with a curious gaze. He stuck out his hand for you to take so he could help you up, though you denied his thoughtful gesture and sat up on your own.

You blinked, looking around the room for your nerf gun, finding it was only a few feet away from you.

Too far...

You let out a sigh before looking back up at Eren. "I have a pick up line and a joke for you. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"The joke," Eren replied, sitting down criss-cross right in front of you. He knew the likelihood of you getting up off the ground was going to be low, so the simplest solution was just for him to sit down.

"Did you know that without women, sex would be a pain in the ass?" you asked.

"Not for me," Marco hummed, sitting down next to Eren. "I am an experienced veteran."

"Bottom," Eren laughed, mostly at your joke but partially from Marco's commentary.

"Now for the pick up line," you declared.

"Oh please do tell," Marco murmured.

"Eren, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" you asked him.

"This is so cliche," Eren sighed.

"I'm not finished!" you whined, "Because it sure did hurt when I fell."

Eren and Marco went quiet, trying to prices what your just said.

"Did you just hit on yourself?" Eren asked with furrowed brows, Marco starting to laugh uncontrollably when things finished processing.

"Duh. And you would do it too if you looked like me," you joked, "I mean, I am the hottest mother fucker in the world."

Eren let out a sigh, "Yeah, you are."

"I'm flattered that you think so," you said with a bashful look, waving him off and ignoring the eye roll Marco gave. "And my mom says hi by the way."

"Ahhh! I love your mom!" Marco chirped, perking up when you mentioned the woman who gave birth to you.

"Who doesn't. She's literally so fun to be around," Eren agreed with Marco. "And so is Gertie."

Marco gasped, "Is Gertrude still the same big old mutt that I love?"

"Yeah," you nodded, cupping your hands before yelling, "Armin, come here for a moment!"

"Give me a minute, my turn is almost over," he responded.

"What do you need Armin for?" Marco asked you, tilting his head a bit with slightly furrowed brows.

"Remember my step sibling, Brantley?" you asked Marco, continuing when he gave you a hum of acknowledgment and nod of the head, "Well they don't have anywhere to go after they graduate. And there's no way they can stay in my dad's house, you know he's homophobic—"

"Hold the fucking phone," Marco held his hand up as he cut you off, "You're using they for Brantley. Does the hoe go by they/them?"

"Yeah," you nodded.

"Ok," Marco hummed, "And I'm assuming their also not straight since 90 percent of the time, if someone uses they/them pronouns, the person is not straight."

"Correct," you nodded again.

"Can you tell me their sexuality, or nah?" Marco asked.

"They said they didn't want me to tell anyone. Sorry," you shook your head, not wanting to betray Brantley's trust by telling Marco their secret.

"Alright, that's fine," Marco shrugged, not pushing any further since he respected other's boundaries. Well besides you of course, he always got your personal information out of you.

"What's up?" Armin asked, jogging over to you, Marco, and Eren and sitting down in the empty spot next to Eren. He thought it was peculiar that you were sitting in front of the stairs and just talking in that weird spot, though with the crazy things that constantly happen on that house, it wasn't exactly the most shocking.

"Would you mind if someone else started living here?" you asked.

"If by someone else you mean some exotic animal, you are not allowed to bring it into the house," Armin said sternly, already almost having fallen for that trick in the past.

"No, not this time," you shook your head, "It's my step sibling. They don't have anywhere to go after they graduate high school, and they can't stay at my dad's house. It's not necessarily the best environment for them."

"They would have to pay rent, but other than that I don't mind. We have 3 extra rooms anyways," he replied.

"I know they'll need to pay rent, but I'll probably be paying for them in the first couple months," you informed, "They're searching for a job right now."

"Why doesn't Brantley just stream with us? I mean, they'll need to get the equipment, but they pretty much fit the vibe of everyone else," Marco suggested.

"Haven't thought of it," you admitted, "But our equipment is expensive."

"I could pay for it," Eren offered, "Brantley's a nice person, and if they need a bit of help getting settled in the outside world, I don't really mind."

You looked over at Eren, humming as you took in what he said, "You'll have to ask Brantley first, we don't even know if they want to stream."

"They could always become a stripper."

"Marco, no!"

"What? It's just a suggestion!"