Plain Girl, Complex World

September 8, 2014

Dear World,

Today I knew that Marianne and Arlene are still stabbing me from my back. They would talk mean and awful things when I'm not around and they told Jonas about it. Now Jonas is writing some mystery bad girl that he's not naming at the school's article. He didn't mention Marianne or Arlene's name though, but since, me and Jonas is classmates, I feel like some guess that it's me whom he is talking about.

I just ignored it and let people know that I am not guilty in whatever Jonas is written in the article plus he exaggerates things in the newspaper. I can easily deny those but not too defensively. Despite us no longer talking to each other, Marianne and Arlene can still inflict pain on me. Why can't they just leave me alone. As much as I put on a brave facade it really hurts. And the worst part was that I can't actually do anything about because when I'll react I'm the one who will look bad.

It's not my fault that I ditch them, they made me do it. I don't care that I'm the bad person because of doing so. I have self-respect to let them use me like I meant nothing but an answer key. I was so fed up with that, I just want true friends. Is that too much to ask?

On the other hand, I am so happy that I passed by Ethan earlier when I walked in the main school building. I didn't notice before that he and his best friend (I think) always stand by their locker since they are so fortunate that their locker is next to each other. At least there's a silver lining in this situation.

Later this day during the English time our teacher groups us by five, (thank goodness I wasn't group with Marianne and Arlene), but the downside was I was with Wendy. We appointed our classmate Kelly as the leader. She's very shy that she said no about being the leader.

Wendy told her that she's the real leader, but if we keep on appointing her, the teacher will have an idea of separating us. Even though Wendy and I aren't the exact friends, we set it aside if we do things at school. She's a good singer, I'm not, but with Charlotte's lesson, I get the hang of writing songs and poems (they don't need to have a grammar that's why) and our group is doing well when we do some group activity.

We were instructed to write a rap about one of the common problems of society. We chose the topic of computer addiction and why there are a lot of addicts in our neighborhood. With the help of my group mate Jocelyn, we were able to devise a rap song.

Wendy and Calo put a tune on it and edited a little for the tune then we are good to go. We practice the song, then our teacher stops us right there telling us that we have time because we will be presenting the rap on Wednesday. We were good with that.

We practiced after school and we agreed that Kelly will grace us with a short vocal beatbox first then she will set the beat throughout the song. We choreograph some few dance moves as well so we won't look like a live earthworm being seasoned with salt in front while we rap.

At least something came up that distracted me from what Marianne and Arlene did to me. I have quite some things to do like a book report from Spanish and a floor plan sketch of our house for our Technical Drawing. For ninth graders having this kind of project as homework, the school is killing me.

Always,

Sandra