September 13, 2016

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Dear World,

I didn't know that I fell asleep without even changing into my pajamas. I woke up feeling dreadful, I didn't cry all night because I no longer have the energy. I just slept right away soon as my head touch the pillow.

I dragged myself into the bathroom to get ready for school and out of my room. When I got out of my room, mom told me that if I don't feel like going to school, she can send an electronic email absent note to the principal and my teachers so they will just excuse me for the day.

I told her that if I stay in the house all day, I will just think about Charlotte all day and I don't want to keep sulking. I'll mourn but I don't want to be affected too much, Charlotte wouldn't want that. Mom knew that I don't have an appetite to eat but she convince me to eat at least one pancake, which I did.

When I got to school, it turns out to be a bad idea, Charlotte was not there and it just reminds me that she will never set foot at school anymore. My friends; Lassey and Megan, notice that I was not myself that whole time. I didn't even smile when we saw each other. They also knew that I'm quite a bubbly person but this time I'm not.

I just told them that something awful happened and I don't want to talk about it for now. Megan hugged me without saying anything. I didn't know that I need it. They didn't pester me after that, they just went on with the day and tried all their best to cheer me up. I don't feel like talking about Charlotte's death because it will just confirm it all. And I don't want to admit that she's gone already.

School ends and I was walking slowly out. I know my house is twenty to thirty minutes away from school but I feel like walking home now. When I got out of the main gate, I feel like going straight into my Psychiatrist's clinic because I saw Charlotte sitting in a waiting shed, waiting.

My mind is shouting at me that I am just hallucinating but I just felt like going near her. If it's a hallucination then at least I get to see it up close one last time. I went in front of her, about two feet away. Charlotte didn't even turn out to be someone else, she was just Charlotte and I thought that maybe it was her spirit.

Charlotte beamed at me and hugged me. Something that I couldn't believe, I was so happy. I was not hallucinating, she was real, she is alive. It was a very magical day for me. I pinched my arm and her cheeks and she's real.

That afternoon, we went to my mom's restaurant and she was happy to see Charlotte making it. She treat us to a very delicious yet healthy meal and we ate heartily. Charlotte told me what happened when she woke up.

Always,

Sandra

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