Plain Girl, Complex World

April 16, 2017

Dear World,

Aaron came in this morning. He wants to take me out on a date because he reasoned that he will be busy. He wants to make up for the time that we weren't together and that since he won't be available for some time as well after this day.

I asked dad's permission and he let me go out as long as I come back before dinner. Aaron wants us to have lunch together and I said yes. I sent the photos to some photo experts and they said that it's authentic pictures. Part of me hope that they were fake but it's not.

Before noon, Aaron pick me up and we ate at McDonald's. The tension, while we were eating, was so thick that I feel like breathing it. I was looking around the place because I can't really be still in this kind of uncomfortable atmosphere with Aaron.

As I was roaming my eyes around, I caught Ethan's blue orbs and it wasn't a cold stare like what he's always giving me. Ethan then nodded at me before he exited the fast food chain. I was following his retreating form when Aaron cleared his throat.

"Are you alright, Sandra?"

"Yes, Aaron. Were you saying something?"

"I was just asking if you would like to go out of this place and come to the golf hills?"

"Sure. We can go up there right now. I'm done eating anyway."

We exited the chain and hop onto Aaron's car. The drive was awfully quiet if it weren't for the radio that has been playing. I've been faking quiet sometime whenever I'm with Aaron, maybe faking wasn't doesn't suit me and I always would want to end it.

"Sandra?"

"Yes?"

"Is there something wrong? You barely touch your food and you've been distant from me."

"I don't think there's something wrong with me. Is there something you want to tell me?"

Aaron ignored the question and focused on his driving. I knew that our relationship is nearing its end. I get fed right away with this faking stuff when I can't stand lying. My heart feels like it was being ripped out of my chest and got crushed to dust, while I was feeling the whole thing, helpless.

Golf hills are the green area just outside the gold course field. The hills are a good place if you want to watch the sunset. Couples swarm in here just in time before the sunset. But Aaron and I came there mid-afternoon when there were hardly any people at the moment. Thanks to the trees the place was shady and cool enough despite the sun.

"Why did you bring me here, Aaron?" I asked as I sat down on the grassy ground.

"You were right, Sandra. There was indeed something I want to tell you." Aaron answered not sitting beside me.

"What is it?"

"Sandra, I think we should break up." the statement didn't shock me but my tears just flood out.

"Why?" I asked hoarsely.

"I fell out of love, Sandra. I just can't deal with you. I feel like I'm choked when I'm with you."

"Aaron, you didn't give me your all when we were together so if you feel like being choked, that is because you did that to yourself." I said now anger is rising in my chest. He was the one who cheated and he's making me feel like it's my fault that he doesn't feel happy.

"Don't put the entire blame on me, Sandra. I don't feel like being my whole self when I'm with you." I decided to break the eye contact and look at the place ahead instead.

"I'm not going to blame myself for something your doing, Aaron."

"What do you mean?"

"I know about you and Katie's relationship under my nose. If you're breaking up with me because you want to be together then go." I manage to say even with my wobbly voice.

"What! Sandra, you can't belie—"

"I have proof about what you've done, Aaron. You already make me look stupid, don't stretch it."

"I'm really sorry, Sandra. I'm meeting Katie behind your back. I don't understand myself that I keep on going back to her." I didn't expect the confession but at least it'll be a good closure.

"Please at least tell me how long have you been doing this?"

"Since December. Katie first texted me and we have been communicating since then."

"Goodness! Aaron, we haven't celebrated our first monthsary that time and you already cheated."

"Because I was confused, Sandra. I want to give us a chance and I want to be with you."

"Still you chose her, Aaron. You should've come out clean then we might end this relationship earlier, making it easier for the both of us."

"I'm a jerk, I know."

"I wish you too well, Aaron. Don't come back to me. Stand by your decision and be a man."

"Thank you, Sandra."

"You can leave me here now. I want to be alone. I can manage to come home."

I didn't hear Aaron speak but I know that he had already leave.

Always,

Sandra