Plain Girl, Complex World

June 17, 2016

Dear World,

I am so not over from the kiss that Ethan gave to me. He made it clear that he just did that because of those boys that were bugging us at the mall but why does he have to kiss me on the lips when he can just kiss my cheeks and hold my hand or waist.

During college, Dean picked up a penchant for skateboarding and he even asked us to watch him do/practice some tricks that he will be performing this coming opening class. I even told him if I can film him while he's doing the stunts and Dean said yes.

I brought my laptop and camera over so I can film then edit right after. I was so busy filming Dean that I didn't notice that Ethan and Zack came and checked it out. Ethan's not a very good skateboard rider though he just sat beside me the whole time.

"Where's your best friend, Mitchell?" I asked.

"Summer camp. Said that he will be attending a special class for sports so he can pursue football." Ethan said.

"Really? I didn't know that he would like to play football. I didn't see him on the field."

"He didn't like playing in our school. He went for the tryout but the coach and some players bullied him."

"Well then, I like to see him crush our school then." I joked.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I'm no cheerleader so I'm okay whoever wins in that game."

"How about in basketball?"

"Same, and if you mention any other sports. I'd still say the same."

"Are you going to stay at our current school?"

"Yeah, I'd like to graduate in the same school and won't fill up my forms with two different schools. How about you?"

"If the school is still going to accept me then I'll stay but if not then I'll transfer."

I didn't say anything after that. I was lucky that time because I had an excuse and that is to film Dean. Part of me tells me that if the conversation will lead on, Ethan and I will eventually talk about the kiss.

I can't be crushed again because of it. I can't handle the fact that he is just going to tell me that the kiss didn't mean anything to him but his way of helping me out of a sticky situation.

"So Sandra, can we talk?" Ethan went to me while I was packing up my equipment in the car. Dean said that I can go on without him and that I can just leave the camera and laptop in his car so he can drop them off at my house.

"Sure? We are talking already."

"I meant out of here. I already told Zack to come with Dean. I brought a car, I can give you a lift."

"Okay, sure." I said and Ethan led me to his car and as soon as he got in Ethan drove out of the skate park.

Ethan brought me to this close drive-in theater. The back of the place led to a groove and the fence was already down. We park at the back and Ethan leads me inside the abandoned building. It wasn't exactly haunted but many stayed from that building, just some teenagers like us don't.

Once we were inside the building we went inside and I was just enjoying the view of the inside of the old building. I was imagining how it was before it went out of business. The wallpaper and paint residue is still there.

Ethan pointed to a room and when I went inside, it turned out to be the cinema room or so I called it. The projector screen was torn in many shreds but not fully. I can see the outside space where the cars will park to enjoy a good movie. Although the parking lot has a lot of tall grass growing out of the broken cement floor.

The sun was almost setting but I don't feel scared that darkness will soon engulf the place and the only source of light will be the street light many yards away. I was so immersed in the scene in front of me that I almost jumped when Ethan cleared his throat.

"I see that you like it here."

"Yeah... I mean I don't remember being in a drive-in theater before but somehow the area gives off a nostalgic vibe."

"You've never been in a drive-in theater before." Ethan said but somehow I heard a teasing tone in those words.

"I don't see anything wrong with that mister. Everyone has something that they haven't experienced in their life."

"No need to be defensive, Sandra."

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes. "You want to talk to me... nice choice of place."

"I'll ignore the sarcasm and express my gratitude to you."

"Seriously Ethan, what is it that you want to talk about?"

"About us."

"What about it?"

"Sandra, didn't you feel anything from the kiss?"

"I don't know what I should feel about it, Ethan." I answered honestly. I don't know where I should put myself when it comes to him.

"Do you like me?"

"Ethan, I do but... I don't know."

"You don't what?"

"I don't know what to behave, what to do, what to feel for you."

"Wow, we are over even before we even started." Ethan paced around avoiding his face from me.

"You block me on Instagram." I said feeling like it's the right moment to talk about it.

"I had to because I keep getting hurt because of it. You have been with many boys and you don't even spare a glance at me."

"I guess, it's my fault then. Ethan, don't take this the wrong way. I like you but look at how I handle my relationship. I can't do that to you but if I date you I might—"

"Yeah, I guess we're better off as friends."

"I think so too."

Then Ethan stepped closer to me. So close that we were just an inch apart. I then his hands on my hips, his nose tracing a line on my forehead. Next, I just felt something soft on my lips. It was a tender movement all the same and I find myself responding.

I didn't notice the time. I wasn't even thinking about it. I knew that the place was getting dark but I didn't care what mattered at that moment is me, Ethan, and the kiss that we are sharing.

I don't even remember how I went home or did I even have dinner. All I remember is that it was dark when Ethan and I went out of the place. When I reach home, I just lay in bed then fall asleep thinking that we are still kissing.

Always,

Sandra