Plain Girl, Complex World

February 4, 2016

Dear World,

Charlotte and I are talking to each other now. I've shut out and avoided Charlotte for almost a month and she keeps on trying to reach me. I learned that friends will hurt us and we need to forgive them for that. The reunion was kind of teary-eyed but what matters more is that we're back with each other.

I told Charlotte that we are not talking about whatever the others are saying about me and we'll ignore whatever it is. Our classmates still gave me those side glares because the Facebook group that they created to bully me was reported and every member of that group got a month of detention and six Saturdays of community service. So along with detention on weekdays, they will have to do community service on weekends. How is this possible? Well, we are a public school so government school, and it was considered a large group that bullies people. I'm not the only one being bullied in there, my sister is also mentioned and other people. My guess was there were around five of us, tops. There were about 24 members in the group.

The most satisfying part was that even though Cathy and two of her friends were not from our school were punished as well, and she got the same month of detention but eight Saturdays of community services. I guess the admins got more or maybe it was just her since she's the one who created it. I didn't know if they were still together with Mark or if she knew that Mark was the one who reported them.

No one knew from those members who reported the group. I told the teachers and the principal that I knew about the existence of the group last January but I just ignored it because I wasn't part of it. I didn't know what they are talking about in there but I do know it's not good. I told them about telling Jayson to report the page and about when he told me no.

Jayson was one of those who got detention starting today while I have my first appointment with my psychiatrist the same day. Mom and dad said that she will help me cope up with all those negative feelings that I felt from all those bullyings. I'm told that I'll meet her twice a week.

I don't understand why I feel like I'm wasting my time writing here. I mean what would be the use of me writing about my psychiatrist or life when no one is interested in it. When all they care is to see me destroyed. Right?

Last night I was crying all night that when I woke up I was so puffy. I had to stay in bed for a while to let the puffiness subside. When I arrived at school earlier this morning no one suspected that I'd cried the night before. Not even Maddie or mom or dad.

They just let me off telling me to have fun for the day and call them if there are any problems. That kind of makes me think, if I am a problematic kid or not.

Always,

Sandra