Dear World,
May has come and our graduation is also coming right up. I am so excited to graduate high school but the heavy feeling was back again. It's like telling me that I shouldn't be happy with these achievements that I've accomplished. I don't understand this feeling I shouldn't feel this way, I should be happy.
All things are done, we are just coming to school for some clearance that needs to be signed. And I was getting all the papers that need a signature for my scholarship since I'm qualified to have one. Still, I feel heavy and numbness on my chest, like what happiness that I'm feeling will never be enough.
Today was picture day, we were prepping up for the photos and our class mayor was coming at us asking us for our quotes for the graduation. You're not gonna believe what I chose as my graduation quote. It's; Goodbye old boyfriends. Hello new boyfriends. I found it on the internet. I forgot who's the owner but thank you for the quote.
After some shots for our picture, we were told that we will get our picture in two weeks but the yearbook will be in June when the dates are to be announced. But what really puzzled me was that everyone is happy and I feel like I should be happy as well. I have a college to look forward to and I already realize what I want to do.
Tomorrow's the start of our graduation ceremony practice so we would know when to stand up and when to fall in the line below the stage. And we are not doing anything besides graduation practice. But deep inside is gloomy, numbed, and heavy. I realize that I'm depressed but I don't understand why. Everything was fine, my classmates leave me alone. Not that they matter anymore, I'm leaving high school already. But I want to kill myself, I want to end my life.
Why? The surroundings are positive. I just found myself crying to sleep, I tried everything to lighten up her feelings. I went to the shooting range and do two rounds of firing. Then I went and watch a theater show. Next, I went to drive around town, windows down, enjoying the view of the town. No effect. What else should I have to do?
I find Isaac being too clingy for my liking now and he would always wants my attention. Like whenever it's seven I already have at least six messages from Isaac and two or more missed calls. And I have to either call or text him that time apologizing because I just woke up or any other lies. Isaac would either be upset or something of me not answering right away. But we would reconcile. It didn't happen every day. But when it happened, I would get sick of it and would purposely ignore the calls or reply late to Isaac.
I hope I will be okay soon.
Always,
Sandra
YOU ARE READING
Plain Girl, Complex World
Teen FictionSandra Keira, fifteen. She walks and talks like everyone else. She makes friends like everyone else. She is bullied like everyone else. She goes to school and has those plain school dramas as everyone else does. And most of all she has a crush like...
