Plain Girl, Complex World

November 7, 2015

Dear World,

I met Jayson's group of friends today. I didn't even know that he and Aaron are buddies. Like I was shocked and Charlotte didn't even tell me about Aaron. When we were introduced that's when she mentioned that she knew about Aaron and Jayson's friendship.

I didn't let it bother me for too long and just enjoy the party. Jayson and his gang (including Aaron), are on the school's basketball team. They're cool, yet Jayson dated a nerd. Not being judgemental but the two like each other in many ways that I can't understand.

I guess because Charlotte is a date-one-man type of person, I'm not. Others are telling me that I'm a player but just because I go out with a guy about three times then telling him that we're better off as friends doesn't mean that I'm a heart breaker or a player. I went out with a guy, gave it a shot, and decided that it won't work. If I know I'm not going to be happy with the relationship I end it. Simple.

We were having a mocktail at the side because Charlotte doesn't feel like dancing yet and Jayson is currently entertaining his visitor.

"You know what Sandra, you should stop being a player." Charlotte blurted out of nowhere.

"How can you say that?"

"What? About telling you to stop?"

"Telling me I'm a Player."

"Aren't you one?"

"Charlotte, you know I'm not."

"Real*hic*ly?"

"Have you been drinking hard drinks?"

I asked and took Charlotte's glass and sniffed it. It's a beer. I took it away from her and told her I'll get her some water. I went to the kitchen and got her a glass full and it turns out that she followed me to the kitchen. Charlotte drank the glass and was quiet for a while.

"Yo, girls! Why are you here?" It was one of Jayson's friends that called out.

"We are here because my friend Sandra here is a heart breaker and the karma is on me."

"And between us, you're the one who has a steady relationship." I stated.

"I think Charlotte is getting tipsy." the guy whispered to me.

"Yeah, I already figured that part out, Mark, that's why we're here in the kitchen."

"Let me help you with her."

"Mark. No worries, as long she doesn't drink any more alcoholic drinks, she'll be fine." I said.

"Really, Sandra? Right in front of me, you are flirting." Charlotte said.

"You know what... you're drunk. Let's go outside and get some air." I hook my arms with Charlotte's and lead her outside through the backdoor. I nodded at Mark and he smiled at us.

Jayson's house has a patio and we went there. There were beanbags, a lounging chair, and a sofa. Charlotte chose to lay down at the lounging chair while I chose the beanbag and settled down.

We were facing the pool and the light from the pool's LEDs was illuminating at our faces. We were silent for a moment.

"I'm serious, Sandra."

"Serious of what, Charlotte?"

"Of you being such a player. You see I'm the one who's paying the pain that you have caused to those boys that you've hurt."

"Charlotte look. Those relationships didn't even start yet. And I just knew that I won't be happy with that boy. So I ended it. If there's one thing that is hurt, that's their ego. Time is so precious that you have to choose whom you should spend it with."

"For a player, you have a good, almost valid, justification."

"Whatever. You know I don't need people to believe in me. You're drunk and even if you're the last person that I expect not to believe in me, I'll accept what you are telling me."

"I'm sorry. You see Jayson is hurting me and not being serious with me. I love him and I don't want to lose him."

"Is he cheating on you?"

"Not with another girl but he would make an excuse not to be with me and won't contact me for days."

"Your reason is that you love him and you let him do all those things to you? Come on. You're more than that."

"I don't have your courage in ending a relationship, Sandra. I can't lose him."

"And the truth came out. I'm not the problem Charlotte, you are."

We were silent for at least a minute.

"Just say it," Charlotte said.

"Say what?"

"That I am so stupid for holding unto Jayson. Say it to face that I should ditch him."

"I'm not gonna say things like that, Charlotte. Those kinds of things are the ones that you already knew and heard. What I am going to tell you is that just love him and you'll know if you'll regret it or not."

"Do you think I'll regret it?"

"That is all up to you."

"Just answer it like you are in my shoe."

"Both I guess."

"Both?"

"Yeah, both."

"Aren't you going to at least elaborate?"

"Nah." I said and wrapped my arms around Charlotte's shoulders.

We hugged for a long time.

Always,

Sandra