The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Abby and Her Amazing Friend, Part 2

"Hi."

"Hello." SHIELD was here. "We understand that Dr. Normal is missing."

"She is."

"We have a vested interest in finding her."

"Why?"

"We have a relationship with her."

"We've known her since she was a baby." She had been working for them, as a baby? It was that bad? 

"How can I help?"

"Liz Allen, Liz-" Was that a Doombot?

"Phil, you can show her pictures later."

"I'll take a look at those pictures now." They were probably very compro...Phil?

"Why are you mean to Akkorka?"

"Who is Akkorka?"

"My little one."

"Abby is your little one?"

""Here is Akkorka, she was one, look, she was practicing engineering." She had blocks with letters on them. "After a year she progressed, look, she is showing her Princess Science doll how to eat pudding. It was not hungry. Here she is three, she was placed in ballet classes for her health and fitness, or gym as you call it. She is spinning, she fell, I killed her enemies who made her fall."

"Gravity and being three?"

"I had to tell her something otherwise...look, she is attempting to blend in at the normal school, when she was four she made an Archimedes screw, we were very proud. Despite her mother she was doing well. Here is her being kicked out of normal school, apparently there was no such thing as a cool Nazi. Master should not attempt humor, also his wife should not attempt to take over the PTA and not make friends with the other moms."

"A cool Nazi, what does that mean?" It seemed important.

"Here is her first robot, look, she used pipe cleaners. You see here that she found a horsie, she is happy. Horsie is her favorite animal. Moving on..."

"This was great, I need to tell these nice SHIELD ag..." Why were his eyes glowing red?

"No you don't, here she passed both family emergency drills, one after the other."

"So for like a tornado?"

"Tornados are nothing the wrath of Doom or the USSR would surely crush us and tear us apart if we did not know both national anthems and how to suck up to them. SHIELD cannot always save us. I always told her to go for the balls in the event of failure- and run."

"Normal isn't her real last name is it?"

"No one knows what anyone's real last name is, we are a weird family. This was her first day at SHIELD daycare."

"SHIELD has a daycare?"

"No, she was told to run around the helicarrier and learn while her dad examined parts that needed replacing. She drew this." It was Nick Fury, and she was sitting on his lap. He looked very annoyed. "I was undergoing software maintenance, she came back alive, somehow. I let her watch two episodes of Princess Science and allowed her to skip a Serbian lesson."

26 Years Ago...

"Children, we are going to make a landmine!"

"Yay!"

"One calorie, two calories," this might not be a healthy snack. "Your juice cup is empty, scurvy is bad."

"There are different types of landmines, do you want to learn what they are?"