The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Catfished, Part 4

"We meet again Morbius."

"My date is a black guy." And a sexy damphir.

"Did you bring a screaming kid from the Subway?"

"No, you ordered some, pasta."

"And garlic bread, how thoughtful."

"It came with it, sorry." Blade planted a silver stake in the table.

"I am starving."

"Then we can have the intervention."

"Indeed." Blade had volunteered for this for free.

"Hello Vagina, I-...vhat?"

"Hi, Kraven."

"You hunt him too?"

"Hi, I'm Janet."

"Oh she tell me, when I get turn?"

"Garlic bread?" Sergei took a piece of garlic bread.

"So, who watch?"

"Oh," this romantic date was not going as planned. Was this what Spiderman felt like all the time?

"There tiramisu?" It was Sergeis cheat day. "Sorry, I not racist Eric." Eric slid his veal closer to him.

"This fun."

"Abby you have a problem."

"Which one?"

"The one, next to..."

"What has my kitchen island ever done to you Janet?"

"She means the vampire."

"Oh, him, yeah, I know that we can't bang, if his fluids get inside me-"

"Yep," said Morbius.

"That sounds unpleasant," said Abby.

"It is, I have very few friends and am kind of tense."

"Do vampires-"

"Yep."

"Oh, this like Twilight but not sexy," said Abby.

"My sharp claws and need to suppress my urges also make it a bad idea to attempt to please you in other ways that don't involve my vampire sex parts." Abby was also already a werewolf and Micheal's fate in the Underworld trilogy wasn't the best.

"Oh, this is why," Abby had so much hope for her future love interests, maybe if she bribed the-

"We can talk about science though," said Morbius.

"We do have that in common, and Sergei occasionally does pounding activities with mattresses with me, so." Teen rated.

"I do!"

"Can I watch?"

"I don't know, he finishes quickly because I don't have much going on to excite him physically, but hey it's a hole." Best, date, ever.

"I do!"

"He tried hunting me once, then Blade was hunting me, then Spiderman was hunting me, and because he hunted Spiderman, and Blade was a hunter and he had to prove that he was a superior hunter-"

"I did!"

"Did you ever wonder what he would be like if instead of hunting he felt compelled to deoupage?" Abby's mind wandered places when he...

"I do!"

"No, but it seem healthier, not for the trees, but...I also can't eat or drink human food and have killed people, mostly bad guys to-" this literally was Netflix and chill, purely, platonically, physically, only chilling. "During my childhood in Greece," said Morbius.

"Your childhood where?" Asked Abby.

"Greece!" Said Morbius.

"Greece, you say," being a living vampire wasn't the real problem anymore. Abby also realized she could have just built a phone.

"Greece!" Screamed the angry mob outside.

"Who is that?" Asked Morbius.

"Fly away Greek man, fly away!" Morbius jumped out the window and flew away.

"Who was harboring the Greek?" Asked the Mob.

"I also think he was a vampire," said High Five who was there for the chicks.

"He was Greek," said the Ghost of Benjamin Franklin who had not been watching through the window like a pervert.

"I didn't know he was Greek!" Said Abby.

"Oh, maybe next time ask for passport," suggested someone.

"That's a, yeah," said Abby. Morbius was never allowed in the neighborhood ever again. He might text her though.

"We can only do more heroic deeds from here," said Janet.

"Janet you b-"

"Eric and I are going to a jazz club now."

"To the mattress!" Excalimed Sergei.

"Can we go..."

"No, Jazz scares and offends me, are they watching?"

"Is the Greek gone?"

"Yes!" Then theywouldn't watch, with a few...this was a weird neighborhood.