The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The Sinister a Number, Part 8

28 Years Ago...

 "We are gathered here today to solemnly but mostly legally join Katerina and Bela in matrimony, their love story is unique, they are finding out the gender of their not my godchild tomorrow," said Nick Fury.

"You shook head in correction direction in Latveria, it is matter of honor," said Bela.

"Since I am not a priest and have matters of national and universal security to attend to, lets get this over with," Nick Fury was such a romantic.

"I have written my own vedding vows," said Bela, "I translated American ones into Latverian and then back into Latverian."

"I can translate this linguistic adventure!" Happy sobbed Kris in the crowd.

"Get in ze van Katerina, I keep you in house for needs." Mama felt so, feelings.

"He takes her to be his wife to have and to hold!" Kris took a semester of Latverian in college.

"You can leave house occasionally, God is vatching you." Said Papa.

"Keep only unto him and he will love and cherish you!"

"You are stuck." Said Papa, romance was alive and well in the Balkans.

"For better, for worse, for richer or," Kris was happy sobbing.

"I vill stalk you in heaven."

"From this day forward until death do they part!"

"I also looked up other romantic sayings...I am not handicapped and you are not racist."

"You walk in beauty like the night!"

"My penis is a rocket ship."

"Yes, 3, 2, 1 it blast off," said Mama.

"He loves you to the moon and back!"

"I vill glue you to my body." A loud, "aah?" could be heard.

"He will always be by your side!" Also, when his penis pointed her general direction he hoped that her eyes saw a ghost as well. The cat was going to find a geyser tonight.

"And Katerina showed up to get her citizenship and escape the KGB." Said Nick Fury.

"Da, vere are presents?" She had registered for fruit baskets, also, someone, who wasn't her, needed to take care of this child.

"Now that they take each other, and by the power vested in me by SHIELD, I now declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." Said Nick Fury.

"Ve clearly already did zat," said Mama, they actually hadn't, but mentally- her mouth was attacked.

"Vere is van!" Shouted Bela as everyone nervously clapped.

"Put me down!" Shouted Mama as Papa swept her into his arms.

"Ve go to van after party," said Papa. 

"That was, a wedding." Said Nick Fury. "Who knew that she would crawl out of Cthulhu's asshole someday?" She was such an asset to this country.

"They grow up so fast." 

"We're upping the encryption on her SHIELD file."

"Good idea, is the duck still in custody?"

"No, we released him." Literally, they had kicked him up the ass into the East River. 

"Do you think that he'll sue us?"

"Probably but he was sneaking around the helicarrier suspiciously, what was missing from that old HAMMER warehouse?" It could have just been moved elsewhere, since Liz was much more open to talking now this could be quickly resolved.