The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Weekend at Oscorp

"Norman, Norman, Norman, wakey, wakey Goblin sir, Goblin Boss Sir, world's best, you did chug all your medication at once." Norman was back baby! "Did you soil yourself? No, you didn't, yay! Lets get your eyes taped open," Abby retrieved the tape. "Rise and shine, you look awake, very, very, your eyes always look like that." Abby splashed something possibly alcoholic in his face, liquid courage!

"That might have been a dangerously corrosive acid, why do, it was water." Abby wasn't a murderer, she could have cloned Norman anyway though, a better, stronger, more, no, people would be able to tell he was a clone, dammit.

Norman's phone rang, Abby answered, "Norman are you there?" Abby looked down at Norman passed out on his desk.

"Hee hoo hah, physically!"

"You're Green Goblining it up now, I'll-"

"Um, no, and, there's no Gwen," this wasn't Abby's first rodeo, she had even negotiated a merger for him once. If she would have gotten on his computer afterwards, unlike the silly she was, someone could have gotten a raise. "Money and science, ha, what is up bitch?"

"That's definitely you sir, we have a Spiderman situation."

"Boo," said "Norman".

"A file has been stolen from my penthouse apartment with pertinent, dangerous information, the security cameras caught Spiderman stealing it, and he wasn't alone."

"Black Cat?"

"Who else, our contacts in the underworld think that she's planning to steal it from him and ransom it back to us."

"We need to intercept her, and the Spider would never agree to such a plan. We must act while they're distracted with thick sexual tension."

"We hired the Hunter to track him sir."

"Ha ha, oh crap, I mean, good, for us, oh crap for Spiderman! Evil laugh, victory!"

"I've always admired your confidence sir." Abby cackled more and hung up. Crap, wasn't he supposed to be...

"Well shit," thought Abby to herself. Her student loans being paid off and the Oscorp generous tuition reimbursement could not be worth this.

"We've had some good times together, haven't we Norman?" Abby fondly remembered checking his butt, going furniture shopping with his credit card after checking his butt, putting on funny hats and sunglasses, posing in front of the Ghost of Esma's wagon for Instagram, the Reddit AMA at Handsy Grinds, celebrating at fancy restrauants, going dancing, visiting Santa, spending more of his money after checking his butt again, booking a vacation, going on Shark Tank, caring about her feelings, resolving employee conflicts and grievances, taking compromising selfies, buying flowers for the Gwens, going to Kraven's Banya, Norman had woken up after being thrown in the ice water and wondered why he was naked, Abby got away. All the sleepovers on her couch, meeting her family accidentally, watching TV, all the mani pedis and massages, yoga- he was great at the Child's pose, getting a tattoo of something dirty in Chinese.

"You're not sleep screaming and twitching yet, that's good." Was she out of diapers? "I'm sorry I just left you at a Denny's once, did you get it removed?" Probably, Harry might have spotted it after he just took him to the hospital like a loser.

How was she going to get down to the basement and hide him? Abby needed sungleasses, a cowboy hat and a robe.

"Ding."

"Yeah, so anyway, those Cosby+ roofies were much stronger than expected Mr. Executive sir, it was so brave of you to- he's high AF. We can pump them all out of your system in the basement."