The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The Church of Gwen, Part 3

"Look."

"Uh huh." Whose child was this and why did it have a Cow Bell?

"Are you Mother?"

"Yes."

"Mama!" It embraced Abby.

"I'm not your mother!"

Ahhh..."

"I'm...so...sorr..you are tiny."

"Love me."

"No." He was a child, that was very inappropriate.

"Worship team?"

"Does this one belong to you Choir Mistress Gwen?"

"It does Mother."

"I, it's here."

"It is, lets go Howie." He started playing his Cow Bell.

"I'm going to put you in all the songs."

"Yay, more Cow Bell!"

"There you are loser," said Lester.

"The lady doesn't like me," said Howie.

"If you shut up and do whatever she says she will love you," said Gwen,  "Turn to page 11." "Everything is Fine", a Church of Gwen classic.

"Strum, strum, strum, strum."

"Badadada-"

"Dun, dun, dun, dun!" 

"Hey!" said Fester. "My Jazz Sax!"

"Too late," said Howie.

"Everything is fine, everything is great, Gwens weren't a mistake!" 

"Jazz Sax Noises."

"Cow Bell Noises."

"Shredding on a guitar."

"Stop, what is going on?"

"Cow Bell is what's going on."

"I am also here," said Nester, who was on Keyboard.

"Jazz Sax is lame."

"Jazz Sax will never be lame!"

"Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun." Nester started playing the Theme from Jaws.

"Ow!"

"Neck Pinch!" It had worked on the TV.

"Be gone demon!"

"She's touching me!"

"What are you doing we are not-" Abby had heard the Jazz Sax and Cow Bell duel, and it had been disturbing her serious, spiritual meditation. "I can exorcise the children." Abby had a taser. "Let us pray!"

"Jazz Sax is fine."

"Mother be praised!" Exclaimed a Choir Gwen.

"I want to go home."

"Your home is here now."

"Yay...."

"Is that the Theme from Jaws?" Nester switched to "I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts."

"Mother has blessed us this day!" 

"Can I borrow the taser?"

"No, you are only a Level 4 Gwen." She had yet to destroy her individuality. 

"She's Level 4?" This Gwen was already monitoring herself and reporting all of her transgressions to the Gwishop.

"I'm a Level 2."