The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Where is Gwen #328, Part 8

"Mother has gone to the depths of hell to fight for us!"

"Delaware?"

"No, she has gone beneath the Earth to save us from unholy demons."

"That's really nice of her." Pretty incredibly generous when you thought about it.

"We do not deserve mother's kindness, or mercy, in fact as stated in the Gwible, she doesn't owe us shit so figure that out."

"Earn that keep!"

"I am nothing!"

"Without mother."

"Yes, yes."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"Let us pray."

"We are so f*****."

"I know."

"Unless we pray." The other Gwens were looking at them funny. "This place does look really nice." It really did, it was a shame they wouldn't be hanging around long.

"Oh Mother, you do so much for us and no one appreciates you, may all who appreciate you prosper and those who don't die horrible, painful deaths-" The Church of Gwen was a religion of peace. "May they suffer greatly and know only pain."

"Know only pain..."

"And may good loyal Gwes live with you forever in Paradise, amen. My Gwisters, we are blessed to have a mother who loves us so, some mothers don't love their children at all."

"F' you the devil!"

"Indeed, and our mothers needs us now as she fights our enemy."

"Um?"

"Yes, Gwen raising your hand in church."

"Which one?"

"The Mole People."

"They're our enemy?"

"They threaten those who serve us."

"Oh, so she's fighting for-"

"Do you like nice things?"

"I love nice things, I hate Morlocks."

"Mole People."

"They both start with "M"." The Gwishop made a motion with her hand. "No, I'm sorry, I'm not smart!"

"So anyway, praying."

"Yes, praying, all the praying!" 

"Ding."

"Sorry," Howie started warming up his triangle.

"That was the signal."

"Oh mother!" Everybody started screaming.

"This isn't a c-onvenient time to stop believing, oh mother!" The Security Gwens had pain sticks.

"I have to go to the bathroom!" Gwen ran to the bathroom. "Gotta puke up the sin!"

"You should worship like her."

"Trust me, we're almost there." They were trying so hard.

Meanwhile Underground...

"Oh, John Quincy Adams."

"Are they seriously praying to John Quincy Adams?"

"You bathed naked in the river every morning." Steve was learning so much about John Quincy Adams. "And had a pet alligator."

"That's interesting," said Steve.

"You tried building an observatory."

"Is this a prayer or a list of facts about John Quincy Adams?"