The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Stealing Hitler, Part 1

 "Its's always been my dream to see Hitler, in person."

"I should have worked for AIM", muttered Abby to herself as she shrunk down the corpse of Adolf Hitler using technology borrowed from Hank Pym. He was looking into the Chinese Market anyway.

Abby gingerly placed Hitler in her pocket and got out of Chryogenic Storage. If Hydra wouldn't hire her now, then maybe, there were several organizations in need of scientists. How did Abby find herself in this predicament?

"Dr. Normal," said Norman Osborne is his normal creepy voice.

"Mr. Osborne, do you need me to turn more sea otters into land otters with super-human strength and laser vision?" ISIS would never see them coming. Fire breathing camels were also in the beta stage.

"No, not today Dr. Normal, I have a simple question, is $10,000 a lot of money?"

"For anyone who is not you or Tony Stark, yes." Tony stark probably used it as toilet paper, and in the 70's...he's in the Disney Movies now.

"Good, then I'm probably not wasting money," he remarked, "not that anyone would be stupid enough to try and win the bet and impress me."

"Bet, what bet, and $10,000?" Abby put down the land otter cloaking device.

"No one could be stupid enough to try and steal Hitler's chryogenically preserved body from Hydra, that friendly Roxxon Corporation Salesman was very drunk." Since Norman could tell that the salesman had been very drunk, he had to at least have sniffed his medication. "Even Hans couldn't accomplish such a feat."

Hans, Hans, or as he preferred to be called Jeremy. Hans can do this, Hans can do that, Hans built a time machine to come back in time and tell himself to build a time machine. Hans found the cure for cancer and destroyed it because it will never help stop the smoking epidemic, Kanye West apologized to him for something once.

Meanwhile Abby was, present, did she see a blur of a red headed child in the basement once? Yes, but she wasn't Hans. The child was on a bike and dressed like the Grady sisters from the Shining. The Gwens left out toys for it and had caught several EVP's, there were theories.

"You're right Mr. Osborne, that's ridiculous, who would even attempt to do that? Hydra must have Hitler under locks and keys, and lasers, am I hot or cold?"

"Very hot, there are German Sheperds too, would you like to hear other reasons why stealing Hitler would be a stupid idea?"

"Like becoming a hero?" Abby and Norman had a good laugh over other pertinent security details that kept Hitler's dead body from escaping. And at which facility, Hammer was such a great source of information.

"I'm getting tired of touching myself alone in the dark, send me a Gwen this evening," Norman was a very direct man.

"Yes per- I mean sir," said Abby, who now deserved $10,000 just for that delightful snippet of words.