The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The First Morlock Thanksgiving

"Look mom, a dead body!"

"Anastasia!"

"Cool, a Spider Robot!" Derek waved at the child.

"Where are all the alligators this year?" They were a Morlock Thanksgiving Delicacy.

"I want a turkey."

"It's not traditional."

"But mom!"

"We can't forget where  we came from."

"Greetings sewer dwellers!" It was the Surface Stuff Barge! "Real surface groceries, assorted holiday decor."

"Yay!" It was like being on Skrullos greeting his adoring public. Why were they putting up a tiny town of some sort?

"Explain that."

"He had three penises and a fifth nipple."

"I meant the tiny buildings."

"We're putting on a pageant."

"Don't sign up, you're ugly."

"It's more of a play, it's the story of the First Morlock Thanksgiving."

"The First Morlock Thanksgiving?"

(Happy Bouncy Fall Holiday Music)

"Are we claymation now?"

"We are human holiday barge man, it's from the noxious gasses."

"Isn't that a health hazard?"

"Yeah, we're really concerned about it, anyway-"

"You don't seem very concerned."

"Party, many years ago when every mutant looked like a normal human..."

"Aaah!"

"What the fuck is wrong with our baby?"

"What the fuck is wrong with my parents?"

"Ahhh!"

"Oh my God this is so interesting, ahhh!" The husband kicked the baby out an open window.

"You ass-" It fell into an open sewer grate."

"Oh my God, that's horrible."

"Yeah, it was really traumatic."

"That poor child."

"But this child was no ordinary child."

"This is some bullshit," he said as he crawled through the sewers.

"Did he sound like Samuel L. Jackson?"

"I did say that he was no ordinary child."

"Anybody have some breast milk?"

"Hiss..."

"Really?" He beat the alligator with a lead pipe. "Do you have some titties?" 

"Hiss!"

"I'll take that as a no," with one last konk the alligator scurried away.

"Yay!" Who was that? "That guy was a jerk."

"That cured my hepatitis," said a Homeless Man.

"Nothing could cure your hepatitis."

"Where are your parents?"

"And the homeless vagrants took in the Morlock child, and raised him as one of their own." The kids were practicing kicking the baby.

"Hiya!"