The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The IESC, Part 6

"So Janet, are we friends?"

"No."

"But Abby feels so close to you."

"Abby feels so close to me."

"You remind me of my mother."

"Abby's or your mother?"

"A little bit of both, do you also like taking it from behind?"

"That is sexual harassment."

"Sorry, are you wondering what I'm still doing here, want me to go away?"

"Yes."

"Mommy!" He was hugging her.

"You need therapy." Said Steve.

"I know," said Kevin.

"It's too late, it might just make him worse," thought Janet. "Who are you supposed to be?"

"An enthusiastic janitor."

"The janitors don't usually clean up messes in the basement."

"Who does?"

"That is for me to know and you to never-"

"Spider Slayers with flame throwers on their tails?"

"No."

"Spider Slayers?" They could probably murder some germs.

"We have specialists." Kevin would be their new best friend, they knew so many secrets.

"Do I look scientific?" Kevin turned into Dr. Normal, but blonde, with...

"They might think that you're her in disguise."

"Mommy said that you could use me for experiments." Now he was Normie.

"Liz would never say that." Kevin turned into a generic lab tech. "That's better."

"Why can't you use me for experiments?"

"Well, we can't any...there's a camera."

"I disabled it, why don't you finish that interesting and compelling sentence?"

"You're being very annoying." He would be an amazing Dr. Normal. "Have you bothered Liz yet?"

"Oh I have, greatly," said Kevin.

The Previous Evening...

"You have prepared nourishment for me Mama!"

"The Chinese Restaurant did."

"When do we breastfeed?" Human children still breastfed at this stage in development, right?

"Ha ha, this is your favorite."

"Yes, it is, I was making an amusing joke. All the children around me are fools and idiots."

"You are very misunderstood." Liz kissed him on the head.

"I am, thank you Mama, I have never felt so loved! I mean, yes, rice..." Did he need to go to therapy? "I love Ni Hao chicken."

"Normie, my boy!" It was the father unit. "How was school?"

"I defeated all of the other children successfully."

"Did you learn anything fun today?"

"I learned that to kill a man you must not be weak, you must be strong. Your resolve must be unwavering. You must harden at the thought of his family weeping over his corpse."

"How's your girlfriend?"

"She pleases me greatly, in fact, I gave her a pretty flower."

"That's so sweet of you."