The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Kevin's Family Part 3

"Where are your steel chairs?" Abby asked the salesman. If Homegoods didn't have it, who would?"

"We don't sell those," said the salesman. "Royal Home Goods might though."

"I don't need a fancy steel chair, just a steel chair." Abby had already checked the 99cents store and the Fair Home.

"Why do you need a steel chair?" Asked the salesman, "we sell nicer chairs."

"Yes but you can't knock out a crazed coworker who..." Abby pretended to look at throw pillows.

"I'm still here."

'Hiss!" Hissed Abby, she also could have recited her grocery list in Russian, but this salesman was weak.

"I guess I'll just go to Verizon," said Abby. Why were steel chairs so hard to find?

The line at Verizon was a line, and the customer service was customer service.

"Technology confuses me," said an Old Man who might have been Stan Lee.

"You press buttons," Abby had great expectations for her customer experience. She just pointed at the latest model of her former cellphone and shouted that one, do your thing. Others started doing the same. Who said sales people had to control the sales process?

After the old man who might have been Stan Lee was helped Abby was next.

"I should have finished graduate school, this one?"

"Yes, do you thing," reiterated Abby. After Abby taught him how to speed through the sales pitch, and paid her bill, she was out of there.

"My new number is 201-123-4567," she reminded herself. She would get the message out eventually. As she out it in her pocket she got a text message. "The lab, tonight," sounded like a party. "You know it...wait, which lab? Who is this? There are a lot of labs. South Street Seaport Manhattan, New York, 8 PM, not Oscorp?" Thought Abby to herself, this sounded like classic Oscorp shenanigans. "See you at the science party science bitches." Science parties were the best parties because science parties, Manpibian was apparently Abby's new code name, because they made advancements in knowledge and learning that could be applied to improve the human condition. And at Oscorp there was at least a 50% chance you would regret them.

"So anyway, science party!" Said Abby. 

"Who is Manphibian?" Asked Kevin.

"I don't know, but new friends!" Abby finished her latte, "I have stuff to do at home that SHIELD would totally approve of."