The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Howard the Duck Christmas Special

Christmas was a beautiful time in New York, the streets all lit up with lights, the holiday window displays, and the sounds of bells and- a homeless guy was looking at Howard funny.

"Where is Duck?" How many Chinatowns were there in this city? Couldn't a duck just go for a walk anymore?

"Maybe he flew away."

"I see him walk."

"Maybe he went that way." Koreatown was slightly safer.

"That was a close one," said Howard as he emerged from the dumpster.

"Hiss!"

"Damn cat!" Even Howard's signature Quack-Fu couldn't save him from such a horrible creature.

"Hrumph."

"Merry Christmas."

"Hrumph." He had probably been in a war. Howard scurried away before he found out.

"Oh, pardon me."

"You smell like shit!"

"I know!" New York was a wonderful city. It was time to play "Duck Under the Turnstile". Which way is the subway?" That brush with death had left him a bit discombobulated.

"Shouting in Chinese!" Howard knew that he shouldn't peek around the corner, but he had to.

"That's a weird place to park a truck."

"More shouting in Chinese!" The men in masks ran by him.

"What-" Something exploded. "Time to ignore the world and run!" He could see the subway, who was shooting at each other?

"Pardon me good however you identify!" Howard got onto the subway in the nick of time.

Several Stops Later...

"Good evening High Five."

"You smell like shit."

"It's not a cologne to you?"

"Why do you think I moved up here?" One of his children walked by. "Oh shit."

"Abby's not, not a cult?"

"No, they're in New Jersey." He wondered but didn't want to know what they did for Christmas.

"Do you have any holiday special... a Cosbycino?"

"Get it? The cup has a crazy print on it!"

"I don't think that's the association..."

"And it's decaf!" High Five was making sure it was long gone.

"I suggested a chamomile tea latte, but Cosby-latte wasn't as catchy."

"See the chocolate? That's a Jello Pudding flavor."

"There is also cream."

"So much cream."

"Extra cream for the ladies."

"Incorporating banana was attempted."

"What's a Cosbycino?"

"Nothing that you should order Hentai."

"Is it named after Bill Cosby, is he still alive?"

"Yes..."

"Has he done anything recently?"

"No, but he did a lot of things before."

"I know he was in-"

"Yes, ha ha....and now he's in..."