The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The IESC, Part 7

"Welcome to the first annual IESC Presidential Debate. Tonight, all of the candidates will go head to head and answer the tough questions to see who will get on the ballot. For the Russians we have, Dr. Nikolay Lysenko, celebrated animal behaviorist, lover of dogs-"

"Ha, ha, very funny."

"Am I lying? And representing Mutant kind we have Dr.  Ames."

"Cough, Hellfire Club money, cough." Said the Masters of Evil Candidate.

"I also agree with him, hail Hydra!"

"Dr...."

"My many greats grosvater was the ass wiper of the chimney sweeper's cousin's boss of the town's mistress's husband." 

"You have a scary name, how do you feel about Jews?"

"I love Jews."

"If I may interject, WW2 never happened."

"Of course Dr. Kuragawa, of course."

"We were helping."

"Are you getting paid by denial?" It wasn't part of his base pay, it was a bonus. "And for the Maggia, we have, I feel like I should do a hand motion, is that racist?"

"Nah," said Dr. Linguinano.

"Dr. Linguinano!" She did the hand motion.

"We's gonna kick all of your asses!"

"Do they all have the same accent?" Asked the SHIELD agents listening in.

"I think it's so you can tell it's them on the page."

"Smart."

"And for Roxxon we have....ae you the janitor?"

"I'm an evil janitor." There had been another death accident. The original choice couldn't be here.

"The Circus of Crime did not send a janitor, no, they sent me-"

"Are you a 'sanitation technician'?" Asked the Mutant candidate.

"We still exist!" The Circus of Crime probably wasn't going to win.

"Are you a Cancer....because you seem very crabby." Zodiac was here.

"Indeed....he.....does....sssss......"

"Holy crap it's the Serpent Society!" Shouted someone in the audience.

"Yessss....it.....isss....ussss....here....up....on....the.....ssssstage...." This wasn't going to get old at all.

"And for Fisk Corporation we have....Hans."

"Halo!"

"Hans?"

"Dr. Schmergendworfischlitzensteinvonburgschlergenbergistein! You are also present!"

"Vat are you doing here?"

"I am running for office, jah, like you!"

"Good luck."

"Good luck to you, I am obviously winning, Dr. Schmergendworfischlitzensteinvonburgschlenerrgenberigistein!" The Assasin's Guild candiate shot himself in the head.

"And that is why your mental health matters, with the Intelligencia we have-"

"Somebody help him!"

"We have no cloning or LMD technology on premis...dammit Dr. Kuragawa, you can't resurrect this one!"

"He has spares," said Hans.

"Apes together strong." The Super Apes were also present.

"We can help," said Dr. Delacroix.