The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Kevin's Family, Part Two

"You make all the kids feel better?" Asked the little boy.

"I, do," said Abby, "in fact I'm working on the cure, for illness and, isn't this part of New York great, it's really a hidden treasure." Oscorp was currently working on Super Cancer, to kill Spiderman, or poor people, including, in the wrong hands. But as long as Oscorp kept it...Abby was not going to jail for this.

"The rent is so reasonable here, $3,000 a month for a 2 bedroom apartment," said Mrs. Singh, "my husband thinks we should move here."

"Mommy, that man has a tail," whispered the little girl.

"And if things don't work out with this man who is totally your," Kevin glared at him, "never mind, he's always had that limp."

"He was chasing down someone who mugged a baby, he's so brave," Mrs. Singh kissed Kevin on the cheek.

"Oh honey," Kevin had been avoiding trying to figure out how human sex parts work. He had standards, just because you accidentally murdered somebody doesn't mean you... "look, there's a park, lets set the children loose there." Kevin was working on his parenting skills, he had only commandeered this family yesterday. "I mean, they don't need coffee." Kevin smiled nervously. "We should be going."

"See you at work, pal." Abby, "and generally around."

"Yes, coworker."

"Talk to you later."

"I agree." Kevin rushed his never family out of Handsy Grinds for a pretend showing at his real apartment, then the, it was an impromptu surprise. You can usurp someone's family but not their toothbrush.

"This is going to be fun," said Abby. "I also think that I made new friends."

Oscorp, One Week Ago...

It was a normal day at Oscorp, everyone was running around screaming because science was being funny again. The "heh, heh, heh," of the Emergency Alarm existed apathetically in everyone's ears.

"Monday," thought Abby to herself as she smacked her panicking coworkers out of the way with a steel chair, if that didn't do it crotch shots also worked, as well as just throwing chemicals and assorted Oscorp liquids their general directions, if that didn't make anyone get out of the way lickety split what did?

Abby was able to meander her way out of the basement with minimal danger, but just as she was able to open the lab doors Hans had taken her steel chair from her. But hey, who got to the decontamination showers first and knew how to structure interrogative phrases?

As Abby dried off and burned her clothes Norman burst in. "Don't ask why but I need a Gwen in 5 minutes for 5 minutes."

The Gwens were currently lost in the chaos if the basement, "I'll see what I can do," said Abby. Abby fashioned a dress out of the shower curtain and made her way to the Gwen Dumbwaiter.

"Hi Hans, did the, okay you're welcome," a bloodied Hans rushed by with the steel chair still in hand. "I should make a sash out of the, too late," said Abby. She chuckled at the thought of Hans having to decontaminate himself shower curtain less as she sent down Norman's order and hoped that she wouldn't have to put on a blonde wig and tell him nice things about himself, again.

"He wants a Gwen not a Sia," said Abby as she waited by the dumbwaiter. As the minutes ticked by Abby mumbled that she could do so much better, but luckily a blood covered screaming Gwen came up. "I'm so happy to see you, and the-" she just ran straight for Norman's office.

"He's had to deal with bigger messes," said Abby. Who could really go for some coffee. She got in the elevator and pressed the button for the emergency, executive breakroom- Abby copied down the secret access code once while Norman was having his way with a Gwen and discussing private, confidential company matters loudly over a conference call. She also kind of stole the pen that she used, along with a plant from his office. And his, Norman was very distracted and the White Elephant Gift Exchange was coming up.

Norman was always sosurprised with his own stuff, and took extra medication, mind freak. 

"Hello Oscorp Executives and investors!" Shouted Abby cheerfully as she used the fancy espresso machine.

"Basement thing?" Asked Charles Standish.

"Yes Mr. Standish, and stop sexually, you get free lunch?" Abby hoped that if she lived long enough she might be an Oscorp executive someday. "So anyway, I was putting a tracking device in a puffer ferret and just as I went to release it into the sewer system, everyone started screaming. And well, I lost the puffer ferret, it's probably in a better place now and, science is fun isn't it?"

"Was the puffer ferret for military use?" Asked Charles Standish.

"Which one?" Everyone had a good laugh at that one, "Atlantis probably," said Abby.

"The Gwen died," said Norman as he entered, "someone get, oh you're already in here."

"I'll put her in a hole sir, thank you for letting me use the executive break room."

"I do that?" Asked Norman.

"Well you don't take the Gwens out to dinner first but at least you let me, hold on," Abby grabbed more sushi, a sandwich, some salad, and three fancy coffees, an Evian, some juice, and Biscoffs to go. "Aha!" said Abby after finding a beverage tray and fancy Tupperware. "Wait, I, sorry-" shower curtains have multiple uses. "See you guys around, science!"

Abby went to go pick up the Gwen. And Norman's office had very expensive curtains so Abby's newest fashion predicament was resolved, plus Abby found some rope, some duct tape and...Norman's desk was full of surprises. Abby tied the dead Gwen to her back, picked up her snacks and headed back down to the basement.

"Ah!" Screamed the Gwen.

"Oh, you're alive, the Gwen woke up on the elevator.

'Where am I?" It asked.

"You're, the after-life," said Abby. "I am your chariot and have provided supplies for your, eternal rest. I will store them for you in-"

"How did I die? All I remember was screaming, blood, and being a dirty-"

"There was a war, and I am a Valkyrie, oh #562 you fought bravely and I have come-"

"Which Valkyrie?" Asked the Gwen, the Gwens were also fans of the written word.

"Ethelfritrylim, the Valkyrie, do you not-"

"No, I don't remember you, ow!" Abby poured semi-hot fancy coffee on the Gwen.

"That was your punishment for-"

"Forgive me Ethelfrithylim for my insolence!"

"I, myself, forgive you, oh hi Herman."

"Hello Dr. Normal, I heard that there was a Monday in the basement and am here to not steal-" Herman looked at Abby funny. Abby sh'ed him and gave him a Biscoff. "So, like I said."

"Yes, you-"

"You're a Doctor Valkyrie?" Exclaimed the Gwen.

"Yes, I," Abby gave Herman all of the Biscoffs, "yes I know, it's quite shocking that I am a doctor and, we're here. Herman, appeased with Biscoffs, got off the elevator and waited for an elevator back up. Abby also gave him half a fancy coffee to go. But she was sure that the Shocker would strike again.

After she put the Gwen in her pen Abby went to her locker to change into her spare set of clothes. "Keys, money, Spare ID, free food, put that in the decontaminated break room, cell- darnet!" Abby had left her now burnt cellphone in her now burnt lab coat. She also needed another steel chair. Somebody had errands to run tomorrow.