The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

Latverian Christmas, Part 9

"Did you make those?"  Asked Kristian.

"No," The Doombot's head was on backwards and it had two left feet, all of it's fingers were thumbs.  "But we did recently have a opening."

"Every town needs one." It threw an old lady across the street. "It helping."

"How long have you two known each other?"

"A long time, we went to school together, until Dr. Covacs got his big promotion."

"Which Dr. Covacs?"

"The first one, who..."

"Oh."

"Was Erzebet ever hot?"

"Heh," she had been okay looking.

"Her mom is arranging their marriage."

"I have a girlfriend."

"Isn't she engaged to me?"

"Is she?" Bela couldn't remember. 

"Maybe I should ask my wife," she would probably remember who he was supposed to be married to. "Anyway, why do you need to see the witch?"

"To ask her about your vampires, vampires are so, varied by region. I'm writing a paper."

"Perhaps you can ask the vampire."

"I'd rather not interview, the vampire." It was better to get straight to the point. "How bad is it?"

"Pretty bad, it's a vampire."

"What stage, is he fully formed, is he just a cloud, is he, a man?"

"She can't tell, but her ex-husband died recently."

"Oh."

"And her husband."

"What bad luck."

"And her brother."

"What a great loss."

"And in other news-"

"Is it possible that the Angel of Death is stalking this woman?"

"How long have you lived in Latveria?" Or perhaps she was...no, she would...

"We're sorry that we missed the funeral..s..." 

"It was a great, but morbid, festival."

"We'll get right on that vampire problem." He yawned. 

"Kristian, is the store open today?" Bela had a list of offerings for the witch.

"Of course it is, it is Thursday."

"Why would the store be closed on a Thursday?"

"Demons."

"Oh."

"Demon of Tuesday, Demon of Wednesday, most of us honor the Demon of Mondays, but people from other villages have different ones."

"Is there a Demon of Sunday?"

"God."

"Makes sense." None of this made sense.

"There have been several weddings recently so they might be short on chickens."

"Do you eat the chickens?"

"Sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes it watch."

"What does it watch?"

"It has to give permission first, Bela your friends ask so many questions."