"Choolovik, it Valentines Day soon."
"I know, I have many romantic sayings that-"
"Sssshhh... say no more." This was a plot framing device. "Do you remember how ve met?"
"Of course I do Dusa."
New York City, 1989
"Aggressive Russian!" Katya shot the man. "I vill have my vay vith your corpse, vere is computer?"
"Over there." This wasn't Black Widow. "Ah!" She shot him again.
"Explain technology."
"If you promise not to shoot me-" Katya kicked him. "The files are in the computer."
"Katya, he's one of our assets."
"I no kill him."
"We'll be going now."
"We take all, Gypsy explain." She knew that he didn't like being called that.
"We need the floppy disks and the modem."
"Oh, zat it?" Katya was not pack whore.
"Come on."
"Sorry I shoot you, upset man." She whacked him with a floppy disk. She whacked him-"
"Oh, the pain."
"Da, I in charge." She unplugged the modem. "Thank you." She kicked him in the balls.
"Sorry, she's new."
One Jet Ride Later...
"Vere is Gypsy?"
"Bela is over here."
"Gypsy!"
"Zat is-"
"Do magic." Katya's pager beeped. "Volverine..."
"Wolverine?"
"How is she still alive?" She must be truly powerful.
"Do you have another hot date?"
"I just find out I adopted, I need cock."
"Zat is not healthy."
"Life is not healthy," she had heard his little lecture on the hole in the ozone layer.
"I know an excellent therapist."
"Does he work for the KGB?"
"I don't zink so."
"How vould you know?"
"Trust me, I'm Latverian."
"Athathum, Dr. Covacs."
"Oh hello, Latverian Affairs Department," that he was somehow not the head of.
"We have an episode of 'Princess Science' that for some reason wasn't-"
"The thermonuclear device episode."
"No."
"Oh, the, yeah, zat was..."
"Vat happen in children's program."
"Princess Science, who is a Science Princess who lives next door to a wizard and with a pigeon named pigeon and the ghost of Nikola Tesla literally melts the face off of her neighbor, the Simple Serbian Boy-"
"Vy doesn't he move?"
"Then the show would end."
"Zis for children?"
YOU ARE READING
The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries
FanfictionIf you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere, and if you can survive working at Oscorp, Caracas would be a relaxing vacation. Will Abby make it? Is she a protagonist, an antagonist, or just an -ist? Also, some crap about love.
