The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The Church of Gwen, Part 8

"Hi there, are you still in a coma? Yes Janet, I am still in a coma. That's great, keep up the good work."

"Normie really messed her up, didn't he?"

"Yeah, that little sociopath, thanks for helping me help Liz cover up his horrible crime, don't forget to not tell her so she remembers that thing came out of her vagina."

"Of course, look at you sleeping beauty, you look like shit," she was still healing.

"Do you think that she'll catch onto us?"

"Nooo..." Janet was lying, she was horrible at this. If only Abby could have left some "Hiding Shit From Your Boss For Dummies" guide that would have been great.

"Hi, are you doing some shady stuff and hiding it from your boss, are you blaming your childhood for your urge to build a criminal empire- with the permission of the authorities! Then do I have the book for you, 'Shit Here We Go,' a guide to building your own prosperous future and throwing all of your friend and family under the bus, that's right, a bus! And guess who's driving it? Me! Surprise I cloned, myself, and I'm the evil one, isn't that right myself?"

"The bus is ticking!"

"That's great!" Explosion. "I went to therapy, order now, seriously, order now, do you want to know what doesn't happen when you order my book, I will find you and I will-"

"Get your copy of 'Shit Here We Go' for $19.99, order now and get a second copy for free, taxes and shipping apply, all proceeds don't don't benefit not not a cult."

"So what are you waiting for? Order now! Or else..."

"That was weird," said Steve.

"I hear that Spiderman has those all the time." That sounded horrible, and very distracting. "Oh shit, Spiderman," and fighting crime, they had a very important appointment.

"I have to go look for more bodies, if Liz asks for me tell her I'm doing a ghost box session with the child." The basement ghost was very real.

"We have been meaning to do that." Janet was helping. "Hey, what will you actually be doing?"

"I...nothing..." Janet wasn't falling for that again. Janet swung away.

"She could have just walked." There was no time, she was going to be late for a very important date.

"Main Floor," said the elevator.

"Hold the door." It was Gary.

"Janet, what are you doing down here?"

"I found a body."

"Oh, Abby used to..."

"Used to what?"

"Never mind."

"What did, what bodies?"

"Yeah, I know right," said Gary.

*Ding*

"We will talk about this later."

"Where are you going?" Asked Gary.

"Out," said Janet.

"That's a really fast elevator," said Steve.

"I know right," Janet rushed out the door.  "This isn't suspicious at all, this isn't suspicious at all."

"I want a hot dog," Steve was hungry.

"Spiderman!"

"I am a different person!"

"You go spidey!"

"Thank you..." Janet also got it all the time, and occasional low level Spiderman villains, the higher ups were in jail.