The Adventures of Doctor Abby Normal, The Basement Diaries

The Courtship of Abby's Mother, Part 9

"Temporary leave of absence!"

"That's the longest English phrase you've ever successfully pronounced."

"Da, I know, zank you but vy?"

"You seemed upset, how did you get my phone number?"

"I have ways, vere is bastard son?"

"Soccer."

"No, football."

"Soccer."

"Football!"

"He's at football."

"Hello, Gary, you hear, Katya got a-"

"Temporary leave of absence."

"That's the longest English phrase she's ever successfully pronounced."

"Ve discuss before."

"Oh, Katya,  hello."

"Vat you doing bitch?"

"I am working on a design."

"Ah yes, very interesting, ve break in?"

"I have to pick up Gary at Soccer Practice."

"Football!"

"Football."

"Football practice."

"Bela is free."

"He is?"

"I am."

"Great, ve show zem!" Katya hung up.

"I have no idea what the plan is."

"She also doesn't know what the plan is." Gary pulled up the blueprints.

"Hello?"

"Hello Bela, vat is plan?"

"She switched to another line," SHIELD was listening in.

"Gary says that the employee entrance is easy but obvious, there's a back door with an alarm."

"I disable alarm?"

"You take out the security cameras, I will disable the alarm. Once we get in, you take out the ones on the inside."

"Bela can get through the Emabassy's security using  the identification that he stole, I can work with the computers."

"I know password!" Said Katya.

"I kidnap son."

"You what?"

"I no shoot him, I tell him I sleep vith papa but I stop if he give me password."

"He knows his dad's, are you?"

"Da, y nyet, Timmy, you vant go home?"

"My name isn't Timmy."

"Too bad."

"Where are his parents?"

"Marriage counseling, I go to Dima's safehouse, he have compromising pictures."

"How do you know where his safehouse is?"

"I know vere he live and how long he vould commute, also max rent." It was also across teh street from his favorite American restauarant.

"Why would he be doing that?"

"He have dirt on everyone," Katya had replaced his entire file with cat pictures, "Maybe if SHIELD vant me back I tell where." She had also robbed him for funsies.