Beyond

15

•Milan

I turned and felt for Zion. I didn't feel her so I got up. I rubbed my eyes then opened my eyes. She came in the room with a smile.

"I was just finna wake you up..." she said looking at me

I reached my arms out for her. She came and picked me up.

"I cooked breakfast, you hungry??" She asked kissing my neck

"Yeah..." I said before turning my head to yawn

"Go do what you need and I'll fix your food..." she said and I nodded

She let me down and went in the kitchen. I went in the bathroom. I peed, washed my face, and brush my teeth before going into the kitchen. I looked at the clock and it was going on one.

"It's late..." I said as I sat at the island

"Yeah, we slept in..." Zion said as she sat my plate in front of me

"Homemade French toast??" I asked and she nodded
"I hope they're good..."

"What you mean hope, they are..." she said turning around to look at me

"I'm just say cuz you know some of the girls can't make homemade French toast..." I said

"Well I'm not that girl..." she said making me laugh

She fixed her plate, us some to drink then she came to sit. I grabbed her hand, we said a prayer then started eating. I bit into the French toast as she looked at me.

"What??" I asked chewing it

"How it taste??" She asked

"It's good..." I said looking at her

"I knew that already..." She said

I laughed and shook my head. We were eating when it was a knock on my door.

"Who is it??" Zion asked getting up

"Mona..." I heard

I smacked my lips and rolled my eyes. Zion opened the door and my mom was standing on the other side.

"Oh hey..." Zion said smiling at her

"Hey honey..." she said

Zion stepped to the side to let her in. She closed the door back. Mom walked up to me but I wasn't acknowledging her.

"Milan..." she said softly

I downed my juice then looked at Zion.

"Can you pour me some more juice??" I asked her

"Yeah..." she said grabbing my cup

"Milan, I'm sorry..." mom said

"I know..." I said eating a piece of bacon

"Can you give us a minute??" she asked looking at Zion

Zion nodded before giving me my juice, grabbing her plate, and going into the room.

"Milan I'm so sorry. I had something really important that came up. I will make it up to you, I promise..." She said making me roll my eyes

"Mom I don't think I want you to make it up. You've done this to me 3 times and I fall for it every fucking time like a dumbass. I'm not doing it anymore mom. Everything is more important than me..." I said

"No it's not..." she said looking at me

"Yes it is. You've been on the go since I was 10. You never have time for me. You missed my high school graduation cuz you had work. You've load me up with money and think that'll shut me up cuz you got work. We don't hang out cuz you got work. You've stood me up 3 times cuz you got work. All I want is to hang with you but you got work. Mom, I barely even know you. You not giving me the chance to. All it ever is, is work work work. It's always something important. What about me mom, am I not important??" I asked on the verge of tears

"Milan it's n—..." she started with a look of guilt and pity

"No, you don't get to butter me up and make me feel guilty for tell you how I feel. If you have more important things going than hanging with me just say that. You don't have to keep getting my hopes up and not going through with what you say. You're really hurting me..." I said as I tears slipped out

"Baby I'm sorry. I just have a lot to cover. Your dad left us in a hole and I've been trying to fix it since you were 10. I—..." I cut her off

"So you'll whether fix a hole than fix or even build a relationship with me??" I asked as tears flowed down my eyes
"I see your priorities..." I said getting up

"Milan..." she said softly

"It's alright..." I said walking to my room door
"When you're done you can leave..." I said facing my room door with tears coming down

I pushed my door open, went in, and closed it. I got in my bed, threw the covers over myself, and cried to myself.

I can't believe everything is more important than me. Your child should always come first but I guess not in her case. Before dad died, I was her first priority but now I'm always last. Everything in her life comes before me. She signed my life way at 18. I got put in a relationship because of her debt. She missed my graduation and it broke me. She came to my after graduation party but was only there for a hour before she had something "important" to do. I told she broke me and she gave many excuses about her having something important to do. She gave me worlds of dollars to shut me up, but now that I'm older I don't want the money. I want a relationship with my mom but she's beyond that.

I heard her leave out the front door and I started crying harder. After a few seconds I heard my room door open. I peeked from under the covers and seen Zion walking to the other side of the bed. She pulled the covers up, got under, and pulled me on top of her. I buried my face in her neck as she pulled me closer and held me. Zion is slowly but surely is becoming my favorite person. I feel safe around her, she takes care of me more than one way, she makes me smile, she makes me laugh, she gets on my nerves but she also comforts me.

She held me as I continued to let out my emotions. She didn't talked or nothing she just held me close to let me know she was here. After like 15 minutes I finally calmed down but I was still sniffing a lot. I felt my eyes getting heavy and I fell asleep in Zion's arms.